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“Oh, but risk is the spice of life.”
(Every day, toxic masculinity destroys 10,000 acres of their natural habitat!)
Besides, who else was going to teach neurodiverse kids that learning didn’t have to be boring? Definitely not the public school system,
drowned himself by free diving between her thighs. (RIP, noble aquanaut; you died a hero.)
Theodore Ferguson, Lord of Starched Buttholes,
😭😭😭 Maxine please be serious
While Teddy slept, Maxine methodically worked her way through filling in his entire dorky little crossword book with incorrect answers.
Maxine! 😭😂
they thought it made her a real “ungrateful bitch” when she didn’t fawn over their unsolicited marriage proposals or dick pics. Little did they know, Maxine was just holding out for the elusive dick pic–proposal combo meal.
no one had ever been able to get to her, because she was Maxine Hart, and she was amazing. Everyone who dared insult her was so far beneath her that they may as well be sidewalk scum under her boots.
I love this mindset
“You can resist the urge to bang Teddy into next Tuesday. You’re fucking amazing, and don’t you forget it!”
you have all this money, plus your grand Ferguson trust fund of gobs of inherited colonial wealth in the form of silver tureens and blood diamonds or whatever. And you drive a—” “Will you lower your—” She whisper-shouted, “Nissan Leaf?”
“This used to be a nice neighborhood, but look at how they massacred my boy! Now there’s a fuckin’ gelato shop on the street corner and an organic grocery across the way. You have any idea what they’re charging for a pack of gum over there? It’s a crime.”
this foolhardy quest was going to cost him a perfectly acceptable electric vehicle that was absolutely no reflection of his character other than that he was both an environmental and financial conservationist.
