I just wanted something soft from him for a few moments first. The way that he’d touched me while he asked about the past, the way he’d kissed my shoulder, and held me against him; it all had me craving something that might resemble intimacy, even if it was entirely fake and fleeting. I was the master at manipulation. So, it wasn’t difficult for me to see that he was willing to do whatever he needed to try to get the information he wanted. And even after being able to recognize that, I still wanted the feeling from it to continue.
