How to Walk into a Room: The Art of Knowing When to Stay and When to Walk Away

by Emily P. Freeman

Discernment is a formation process necessary to grow our faith, to teach us what it means to hear God, and to draw us into community. It’s about becoming wholehearted people and leading confidently from that space.

Before we make our decision to stay or go based on a script gone wrong or a shattered expectation, it’s good to practice pointing and calling. Is it time to leave the room? Or is it time to change the script?

When an ending is expected, we know it’s time to leave the room, and most, if not all, of the people in our lives agree. There may be sadness and grief, but it tends to be mixed with celebration or nostalgia.

I’ve learned that the best indicators of future decisions are the decisions we’ve already made.

As much as we may think otherwise, it’s impossible to approach decisions apart from who we are because our choices are born out of our character.

When it comes to changing our minds, proximity is a most compelling companion: proximity to people, to their pain, and to the God who loves us all.

Finally, for now can be a prayer, an acceptance of what is and a trust that we are not alone in it.

I’m learning that the opposite of people-pleasing is leadership. It’s time to broaden our definition of leadership to include those spaces where we aren’t in charge. It starts with leading ourselves first. * * *