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“Listen, Father, if you’re no longer accepting funds from men who have ridden me raw, I’m sorry to say, but your accounts are about to be dryer than your wife’s pussy.”
My exterior is stunning. An almost ethereal creature with gem eyes and perfectly chiseled features. On the inside, I’m decaying and rotten. But no one sees that part, so it’s okay.
Just like Gage holding you down and raw fucking you to pieces… Because you deserve to hurt. To be degraded, ripped apart, and left for dead. It’s all you have to offer.
“But harmless.” “Let’s hope so,” I grumble. “I think it’s cute. And he’s a sex worker who came from nothing?? You could be his Richard Gere!” I balk at him like he’s insane, and he cackles. Not that I even have a response to that, but it’s cut short when Ren wanders up to my left side, showing me a small grin. I peek at Toby, and he winks, smirking as he slows down to walk with Parker. Leaving me alone with my Julia Roberts, apparently. Fuckin’ jerk.
Just the other day, for example, we were the last ones out of the showers, and he came up behind me, and whispered in my ear, “I think about your lips all the time…”
“Lex…” I whisper his name, while he’s ogling my dick in these panties. “Hm?” He peeks up at me. We should stop this. I’m going to hurt you. I don’t think I can be… what you need from me.
“I think we should be more than friends.” I shove them out into the open air, focusing my twitchy fingers on his shoulders and his arms. “I know you’re worried, but you shouldn’t be.
“What’s the alternative then?” He rests his head on my shoulder to kiss my neck. “I won’t share you. I know myself; I wouldn’t be able to stand it.” “You don’t have to,” I croak, jaw straining to keep myself in check. “I’ll stop.” Liar.
“Yes, now,” Kang says firmly. “I don’t care. I’ll save your stupid relationship. My dick is like the fucking Red Cross at this point.”
“Why would it get weird?” Byron breathes, whipping his shirt over his head. “Just two homies messing around, right?” His face turns to glare at me. “All in good fun.” I lean over him quickly, grabbing his throat. “You got something you wanna say to me??” “Yea,” he croaks, lifting his foot to run it up my leg. “I’m gonna fuck your boyfriend.”
What about the time you gave Velle a handjob in the middle of the cafeteria? Or the time you let Simmons suck on your nipples in the showers for like twenty minutes… Or the time Jasper was fucking you against the bars with a literal crowd of inmates watching—”
The Luthor from five years ago would have gone with him in a heartbeat. Back then, I wouldn’t have cared about risking death. Getting out of here, freedom, would be well worth the gamble of my life. But it’s not just me anymore… No matter how toxic it is, how codependent and confusing and downright fucking stupid, I could never leave Ren. Ever.
“Just let me make you feel good, sweet boy. You know you want it…” My insides buzz, but I push it down fast. “Yea, you do make me feel good, Ren. Until you make me feel really fucking bad. And do you know why you do it?” I pause, watching his brows knit and his grin fall away. “Because you’re selfish. All you care about is Ren, and that’s never gonna work for me. So just… leave it alone, okay?”
I thought love was supposed to be all shiny and vibrant, warm and freeing and good. Not painful and full of anguish, second-guessing and insecurity. If this is really love, then love sucks balls.
I finally lost my virginity. That’s right! Ya boy finally punched his V-card! Internally raises the roof. Not only that, but I lost it to the hottest dude on the planet. The rich, popular boy with the perfect hair, and the killer smile, and the Instagram model body… Yea, that guy. I fucked him. In reality, Warren Xavier stole my virginity like an art thief who’d been casing the joint for four years.
My sexual attraction to him is the easy part. Everything else with us is a shitshow, but that part is very straightforward. I think he’s gorgeous, his body is bangin’, and I like his dick… a lot. The point is that I’m very gay for him. But I don’t think that means I’m gay in general,
I lost my virginity, and it was amazing, and it felt divine… And then it just stopped. I was tossed back into my cell alone when all I wanted was to have more sex. Buttloads more. Hehe.
“See? I love that,” Ren hums. “You’re out here doing the Lord’s work. Turning hot dudes to the dark side. Bless you, child.”
“Baby, I wanna fuck…” Lex pleads, hoarse and quivering. “I’ve been dreaming about sliding inside you…” Pulling my mouth back, I suck in a much-needed breath. “How long have you wanted to put it in my ass?” “From the moment I met you,” he groans. “And every day since. I even brought lube…”
I open his pants, pushing them down enough that his cock pokes out. My fingers run up and down his length. “Oh, hi… I missed you terribly.” “You’re talking to my dick, aren’t you?”
“Let them play,” I rumble. “Look how much they missed each other…”
“Uhh… fuck… Harder, baby.” “You like it rough, sweet flame?” “Mmmyeaa… Fuck it like it’s yours.” Lex growls, biting the back of my neck hard. “It is mine…”
The thing is, you have to stop and recognize when you’re in the good times. Force yourself not to take moments of bliss for granted. Because the memories are great, but they don’t hold a candle to the real thing, and you’ll always wish you could get this back.
