I know, big shocker. Ren’s getting laid in prison. Alert the media. I would have been fucking in prison regardless, because I love to do it; it’s my coping mechanism, and word on the street is that the one thing prison allows, in abundance, is sex. But when I found out the only way to get stuff in Alabaster Pen is to fuck people? Well, ya girl rolled up her sleeves, cracked her knuckles and said, Step aside, boys. I got this. There’s a new sheriff in town.
