Fragments (Alabaster Penitentiary, #4)

by Nyla K.

He reaches over, grabbing a sterling silver tray, cutting up some white lines with a black American Express while I watch anxiously. Using a rolled-up hundred, he snorts a line, whipping his head back and wiping his nose. Then he hands it to me.

I swear, the dude’s frontal lobe is like a club in Ibiza.

Online relationships are every bit as real as in-person ones, and I don’t care what anyone says.

I’ve officially been kicked out of college, after two faculty members walked in on my ethics teacher screwing me in his office. I know. Ethics. The irony was not lost on anyone. Professor Kensington—who, let it be known, was way too hot to be a teacher—was immediately fired, though I think his wife finding out he likes to fuck guys might have been the more detrimental consequence.

My exterior is stunning. An almost ethereal creature with gem eyes and perfectly chiseled features. On the inside, I’m decaying and rotten. But no one sees that part, so it’s okay.

“The thing about evil,” she whispers, “is that it masquerades as good. True evil doesn’t look like a monster with horns and a forked tongue. It’s beautiful, charming, and powerful… An exceptional liar, and a master at manipulating its camouflage.” She falls quiet once more. And I sit, helpless, with my mind aching in emotional logic. “There are no heroes in this world, Lex. Just villains with a better disguise.”

“Listen, darling, I thought we went over this when I got here… The safe assumption is that I’m always jerking off. So unless you’re going to whisper sexy things to help move me along, keep your lips zipped, ’kay?”

We’re already in Hell. Whether it’s wrong or not, I will keep Lex Luthor Deon here so he can burn with me forever.

“Excuse me!” Kang barks, glaring only at me. “Do I have a say in this?? Now you’re pimping me out to other people, too? Unbelievable…”

“Wait, now??” Lex gasps. “Yes, now,” Kang says firmly. “I don’t care. I’ll save your stupid relationship. My dick is like the fucking Red Cross at this point.”

Frustration weaves into my muscles and I grab his hand hard, cutting off his treasuring touch. “That’s just it, though… We’re not good. It feels good, yes, but together we’re like ammonia and bleach. We’re fucking toxic. Why can’t you just let me fucking go?!” “I can’t…” he whispers. “Why not??” I growl. “Because I fucking love you!” he shouts in my face, and I falter. “I’ve loved you since the second I saw you, and I don’t understand it! I don’t want to feel this shit… This twisted up ball of need in my chest like fucking disease. I don’t even know if it really is love, that’s how fucked up I am. I never knew what this felt like… until you.” He stops to breathe while my mind races. I didn’t know either… Is this it??

“Because I want to do everything in my power to make you happy… even when you hate me and refuse to look at me. I want to be next to you all the time… Just breathing the same air as you. I want to hold your hand and kiss your neck, and I want you to want me to… more than I’ve ever wanted anything. I feel like I could slaughter anyone who causes you pain, including myself. It’s so unbearably fucked up, but I would open a vein and bleed just to make you smile… That has to mean I’m in love with you… Right?”

“It doesn’t matter if I’ve never felt it before. In my soul, I know what this is… I’m desperately in love with you, Lexington, and I never won’t be. Believe me, I’ve tried. Even if it tears us both to shreds… I’m so sorry, baby, but I can’t stop. As long as I’m breathing, I won’t ever stop feeling the way I feel about you. In crazy, fierce, burning fucking love.”

Sexuality isn’t necessarily something you’re going to pin down from age whatever to the end of your life. It’s likely to change as you change and grow as a person.

I want to be the only one who gets him. I sound like every pathetic loser who chains themselves to a bucket of red flags and says, I can change him. But the problem is that they’re red flags for a reason. If they were dumpy idiots, then we wouldn’t be so drawn to them. Instead, they’re hot as fuck and have amazing dicks, and they’re the best kissers in the world because it’s their superpower. Wouldn’t it just be so satisfying to tame one? I’m sure it’s happened before… I could be the exception… Maybe? The one in a million who domesticates a toxic fuckboy.

Felix’s mouth twitches, and he tugs his lower lip with his teeth again. I’m telling you, this dude is the cuddliest, most precious sociopathic murderer ever. You just want to pinch his cheeks. Maybe from afar… in case he decides to bite your fingers off.

And I’m not the only one. Joy also seems unsure of how to act around Trevel. Felix is just playing his timid monster game, hiding behind his glasses and overall inconspicuous appearance. Ren is actively giving off Big Bitch Energy. And Kang is smitten.