Happily Never After

by Lynn Painter

But her car—holy shit. “You drive a ’69 Camaro?” She beamed, almost like she was proud of me for recognizing it. “I do. His name is Nick, he’s a Sagittarius, and he makes me feel things I’ve never felt for another man.”

A car this sexy HAS to be a Sag ♐️

“Sophie Dickhead Assbag Steinbeck, you give me that phone this instant.”

Best nickname in literature

Warm brown eyes, with a hundred shades of freshly baked cookie speckled inside,

Da fuq?

I knew she was buzzed, and I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to do anything more than kiss her—I mean, I wasn’t an asshole—but

Jen no like