Expiration Dates

by Rebecca Serle

“Depth,” he says. “The opposite of casual is deep.”

But acknowledging a desire means acknowledging the what-if of that want. I wanted it, and that meant I was terrified—of never having it. Of never getting there.

We have to be cracked open sometimes. We have to be cracked open sometimes to let anything good in. What I see now, emerging in the mirror, is this one, simple truth: learning to be broken is learning to be whole.

There is something that happens when you’ve been single too long—you decide what things will be before you experience them.

I used to think the unknown was impossible—that all it brought was pain and fear and a red-blinking clock, counting down the minutes. Now I know that’s not true, at least, it’s not the only thing that is true. The unknown can be beautiful. A surprise can be flowers on your doorstep. It can be a piece of paper that ends up changing your life. What is blank space, really, but an invitation?

“Please. He doesn’t hate you,” Kendra says. “He loves you. It’s hard to love someone and not be with them.”