Under Your Scars (Under Your Scars, #1)

by Ariel N. Anderson

At my age, I’ve got nothing better to do all day than make peace with death. I can smell it.

Meridian City, New Jersey, the crime capital of the United States.

The wanted posters don’t do him justice. Not his beauty, nor the malice in his eyes.

I stiffen up as I remind myself that he’s not my friend and even though he saved me last night, he’s not a hero.

“I promise, I’m the one thing in this city you never have to be afraid of.”

I’m not even sure why he hates me. I’m not totally incompetent when it comes to my duties here. My best guess is it’s because I’m not fun to look at. I’ve got as much curve as a two by four, and the sex appeal of a plastic bag.

his eyes are such a pretty shade of blue the ocean would be jealous.

What I wouldn’t give to have him say my name like that again. Like it’s the prettiest sound in the world. Like it’s coated in sugar and dripping with honey, and he’s got a massive sweet tooth.

the CEO who has more dollars to his net worth than there are stars in the galaxy.

his tone as toxic as the stick between his teeth.

I will shove a lawsuit so far up your ass you’ll be able to taste paper.

It’s so silent in the room you can hear the fucking earth spinning on its axis.

I wonder if the richest man in the world even knows other denominations of bills exist, or if he’s only ever seen Benjamins. The latter wouldn’t surprise me.

I have a life to get back to, and you’re not a part of it.”

“You’re begging, angel, but you’re begging for the wrong thing.”

“You can thank me with your mouth or with your blood.”

“It means that I’m going to make you want me as bad as I want you. I’m going to make you fantasize about how it feels to have my fingers in your greedy little cunt. I’m going to make you beg for my tongue against your clit. I’m going to make you so wet and needy for me that you’ll do anything to get me to relieve that hot, achy feeling inside you. Once you admit you want me, that’s when I’ll show my appreciation. With every part of me. On every part of you.”

It’s a beautiful view of this city of nightmares.

“It’s so pretty up here you might forget how terrible this city is.”

people like you and people like me see this city differently for a reason.”

People like him don’t waste their time with people like me.

At this point, I’d eat rat poison to get him out of my life.

“It’s in case you ever need help,” he explains. I lift the chain to examine it. “The charm attached is a silent panic alarm. You turn it on by clicking it five times. You’ll feel it vibrate, and it will send me an alert with your exact location. If you press it, I’ll come. No matter what.”

His voice is gravel behind that mask, but it doesn’t lack finesse, and it envelops me like a snake strangling its meal.

“I don’t want to kill you, angel. I want to keep you all to myself. You’d better take off those rose-colored glasses and accept that the only place you belong is in my black heart.”

“Who did this to you?”

“They need to know what happens when they touch what’s mine, Elena. They’re going to convert religions, because they won’t be praying to God, they’ll be praying to me. Begging for my fucking mercy after I hunt them all down and show them the true meaning of fear.”

“I don’t want to be the reason you lose your humanity.”

“If you’re so concerned about my humanity, Elena, then reach into my soul and find it, because I’m not sure I have any left.”

Prison is the least of their fucking problems right now. ​Can’t go to prison if you’re dead.

I’m one man and taking out six armed men without killing them isn’t easy. Not killing them is a very important part of the equation for me. I like to play with my food.

This is my favorite part. The part where they realize their fate is sealed with red duct tape, and I’ll be the last fucking thing they see on this earth.

the last man standing, drops his gun and holds his hands up in surrender. Smart man. I’ll kill him last for having a few working brain cells.

If he thinks she’ll run, he will chase her. And that’s my fucking job.

Even with my voice dripping in venom, her name tastes so sweet on my tongue.

Elena is mine. Mine to scare. Mine to chase. Mine to touch.”

I’d take feeling numb over loving the taste of death.

I’m certain my ability to be a functioning human being does not exist anymore.

If I started using his first name, it would open the door wider and wider until we can’t close it again, and one of us is going to get hurt. Me. I’m going to be the one to get hurt, because he’s the untouchable Christian Reeves and I’m nobody.

For what it’s worth, I think you’re amazing for what you’ve built out of all that pain.

The trauma living in these walls is so heavy you can almost feel it in the air.

“I have a confession,” he says, his tone hard with need as he whispers his dirty confession directly into my soul.

“You’re fucking insane,” I mumble, trying to find any rational thought in my brain. His left hand lightly squeezes my neck as my pulse thrums under his fingers. In my neck and my underwear. “Yes, I am,” he whispers breathlessly, grinding himself into me so I can feel his erection digging into my stomach. “And you are the object of my insanity.”

“I don’t think you even know what you’re begging for.”

For the past three decades, all I’ve done is focus on the past. You are the only thing in my life that’s ever made me consider the future. At first, the future was just the next day. I started sleeping better because I knew falling asleep would make tomorrow come faster and I would get to see you again.

“And now I’ve got a whole section of my brain dedicated solely to you, and I think about more than just the next day. I see next week. I see next month. I see next year. I see you in every possible version of my future.”

Yes, he’s charming and hot and rich and blah, blah, blah. But he doesn’t deserve her and it’s not fucking fair that he gets to have her, and I don’t. I don’t deserve her either, but that’s beside the point. She’s mine. I don’t have to deserve her for her to belong to me.

I need to love her so violently that it breaks her, and then fill in all those cracks with gold until the only thing holding her together is me.

She’s the only person who commands my self-control just as much as she makes me lose it.

I grind my clit against his pelvis and let go, crashing into a thick wall of pleasure and letting him swallow every sweet sound I make for him.