Under Your Scars (Under Your Scars, #1)

by Ariel N. Anderson

My heart has been yours ever since. I don’t just mean my love. I mean the actual, functional, beating heart in my chest is yours. You’re taking it with you when you leave, and I’ll be nothing more than an empty shell with a gaping hole in my chest in the shape of you where my heart should be. I know it’s not healthy, and it sure as hell isn’t fair to put this kind of pressure on you—to make you the essential anchor of my mortal life. To make you the tether to which I stay on this Earth. But you are. I made you a goddess, Elena, and I worship you. You are my religion and my whole life is dedicated to loving you. That’s what the most loyal disciples do, right? Dedicate their lives to their divine savior. If you never find it in your heart to trust me again—if you never believe another word I say—believe that I love you. My love isn’t perfect, and it isn’t beautiful. It’s broken and scarred and ugly, but all of it is yours. I will always be yours.

I will always be here ready to bow before the holy master of my soul. I would do anything for you. If you ask me to move the sun out of your eyes, I will push it with my bare hands. If you ask me for the moon, I will wrap it in a purple ribbon and hand it to you. If you ask me for all the stars in the sky, I will create an entire galaxy, just for you. But if you ask me to let you go? Angel, you know I can’t do that. If you’re gone, then what else do I have to live for? Hope. That’s what I have to live for. Hope that one day I might get to hear you say, “I love you too.” So I’ll wait. I’ll wait as long as it takes. Forever yours, Christian

“Listen to me,” I plead. “I love you. I will love you forever. Even when we’re nothing but bones in the ground, I will find you in the afterlife and cherish you like I always have. I will hold you and kiss you and fall asleep with you wrapped in my arms. I will spoil you and give you a wedding ring with my last name to match. I will buy you yachts and islands and mansions all over the world so you can feel safe. I will do all of this even if you fight me because you know better than anyone that boundaries have never stopped me. One day, only when you’re ready, I

will fill you with my love again, and I promise I will do it so thoroughly you will forget all that pain you went through for me. You’ll forget about the secrets and the lies and how betrayed you felt when you found out the truth. I will chase away all your demons because you know I’m scarier than they’ll ever be. I’ll do everything for you until the only thing you know how to do is love me back.”