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Like he’s experiencing seeing color for the first time. Like he’s looking straight through me and admiring my soul instead of my body.
“I don’t want to be the reason you lose your humanity.”
He rubs my bottom lip with his gloved hand. “If you’re so concerned about my humanity, Elena, then reach into my soul and find it, because I’m not sure I have any left.”
I’d take feeling numb over loving the taste of death.
“And you are the object of my insanity.”
need to love her so violently that it breaks her, and then fill in all those cracks with gold until the only thing holding her together is me.
“I think it’s that southern charm,” Gavin chuckles. “My wife’s from Texas too. You southern belles have a knack for taming us feral brutes from MC.”
I feel something shift in Christian’s mood, like my acceptance and understanding of Edwin’s spotty memory is infuriating. My grandmother had memory problems too, and I learned during her last few years of life that sometimes it’s better to go along with whatever reality they believe in, than risk aggravating them with contradiction. Edwin
can feel my eyes sparkling from just how wonderful it is to know he commits all those seemingly unimportant details to memory.
grenades,
Elena slowly opens her eyes, bloodshot and glassy with tears still profusely leaking from them. She makes eye contact with me, but there’s no emotion in her honey brown irises.
When Elena is happy, or laughing, those subtle gold flecks in her eyes sparkle brightly even in the dimmest of light. When she’s angry or upset, those flecks turn almost orange to match the fire raging in them.
Trapped in my own mind. My punishment, being forced to relive my rape over and over again.
There’s a saying that every seven years, your body will be new. The same, but all your cells will be replaced.
My love isn’t perfect, and it isn’t beautiful. It’s broken and scarred and ugly, but all of it is yours. I will always be yours.
“Listen to me,” I plead. “I love you. I will love you forever. Even when we’re nothing but bones in the ground, I will find you in the afterlife and cherish you like I always have. I will hold you and kiss you and fall asleep with you wrapped in my arms. I will spoil you and give you a wedding ring with my last name to match. I will buy you yachts and islands and mansions all over the world so you can feel safe. I will do all of this even if you fight me because you know better than anyone that boundaries have never stopped me. One day, only when you’re ready, I will fill you with my love
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Logic says that rape victims don’t like to be touched. Now that I’m living through the aftermath, I’ve discovered that, for me at least, it’s not about being touched. All I want to do is hug Christian. All I want is for him to kiss me. All I want is to sleep in the same bed as him and wake up with his arms wrapped around me.
tongue
Some survivors of sex crimes distance themselves from touch while others act out sexually in order to regain the control they feel like they’ve lost.
A savage. A savage beast that fell in love with an elegant beauty that I will never be worthy of.
“Because I see more than you think I do. And I see an angel who just got her wings.”
It was embarrassing and erotic all at the same time. She was in a submissive position, yet completely turned the tables on me and stole the control right out from under me. That’s my good fucking girl.
He chuckles, and I can feel it deep in my core. “I like it when you’re defiant. I always have.”
breathe through my teeth and whimper. “Now break me so you can love me back together.”
I’ve fallen in love with the most unlovable, virulent, tragic parts of him. And I’ve decided I love the taste of poison.
“No,” he deadpans. “Violence is what I do best. It’s why you fell in love with me.”
