Under Your Scars (Under Your Scars, #1)

by Ariel N. Anderson

They’re going to convert religions, because they won’t be praying to God, they’ll be praying to me. Begging for my fucking mercy after I hunt them all down and show them the true meaning of fear.”

“If your safety is even slightly in jeopardy, it’s an emergency to me. Next time, press the goddamn button.” “I don’t want to be the reason you lose your humanity.” He rubs my bottom lip with his gloved hand. “If you’re so concerned about my humanity, Elena, then reach into my soul and find it, because I’m not sure I have any left.”

It’s a shame I’m already destined for Hell, because it’s not where angels belong. But I’m not going anywhere without her.

“Do you believe in God?” I ask. He nods, and I laugh. “Look at me. Look at me. I’m your God now. Do you want to know why? Because I’m the only motherfucker on this planet that can show you mercy. Start praying. You’ll need it.”

Do you understand, Elena? Love makes people blind. It makes us blind, and selfish, and stupid.”

There’s a saying that every seven years, your body will be new. The same, but all your cells will be replaced. In seven years, I’ll have a body that Frank and Neil would have never touched. I wish that gave me comfort.

“Listen to me,” I plead. “I love you. I will love you forever. Even when we’re nothing but bones in the ground, I will find you in the afterlife and cherish you like I always have. I will hold you and kiss you and fall asleep with you wrapped in my arms. I will spoil you and give you a wedding ring with my last name to match. I will buy you yachts and islands and mansions all over the world so you can feel safe. I will do all of this even if you fight me because you know better than anyone that boundaries have never stopped me. One day, only when you’re ready, I will fill you with my love again, and I promise I will do it so thoroughly you will forget all that pain you went through for me. You’ll forget about the secrets and the lies and how betrayed you felt when you found out the truth. I will chase away all your demons because you know I’m scarier than they’ll ever be. I’ll do everything for you until the only thing you know how to do is love me back.” I take a deep breath and wipe away her sorrow with my thumbs. “But I can’t do any of that if you leave me, Elena, so I am begging you to stay.”

“I’m sorry. For everything. For the lies and the secrets and the pain I’ve put you through. I will never be worth that sacrifice, Elena. Never. Not even if I lived a thousand lifetimes trying to make it up to you.” With careful fingers, I reach up to caress his cheek. His eyes find mine, his expression pained and guilty. “But you are worth that sacrifice. That’s why I’m still here.”

“Give me time. I’m not going anywhere. Let our love be simple and let it be complicated too. Let me see all of you, the parts of you that you keep hidden under your scars. Make me fall even more deeply in love with all the dark parts of you. The parts you think are unlovable. Then one day, ask me properly, and I’ll say yes.”

“I have never heard so many insults strung together in one sentence. Also, what the fuck does ‘I’m gonna show you how the cow ate the cabbage’ mean?”

“When I told you that you made me believe in soulmates, I didn’t just mean in this lifetime, or even in this universe. My heart has always belonged to you, even if I didn’t know it at first. I would love you even if I had no heart to give you, because you are the sole reason for my existence. My soul would love you if we lived on different continents and spoke different languages. My soul would be tethered to you across oceans and mountains and harrowing canyons as black as my heart. My soul would be yours if I pulled the trigger the night we met, because not even death could keep us apart. God couldn’t keep me from you, because God isn’t real, but you are, and that’s all the motivation I would have needed to find you.”

“You know, I don’t think Elliot would appreciate me stealing his wife and his daughter. I might start World War III.” She hands back the ring. “You’d start a war for love?” “For Elena? I wouldn’t just start a war. I’d win it.”

Elliot walks into the room, and the world goes quiet as he stares me down with his wife and daughter snuggled up in my arms. Just to get back at him for nailing me in the face, I wink at him, and subtly give him two middle fingers.

Hahahaha I love Christian Reeves

“I’d offer you my heart and my soul, but you’ve had both of those from the moment we met. What more of myself do I have left to give that you don’t already possess?” I sigh wistfully. “I have my last name, if you think it's worthy enough to follow the five letters you’ve carved into my heart.” I take a deep breath. “Elena Louise Young, my angel, my love, my life, will you marry me?” Elena nods, giving me her finger. “Yes, I’ll marry you.” I slip the eleven-carat purple diamond onto her delicate finger, kissing it before standing to my full height and then taking her lips in mine. “You’re supposed to save the kiss until after we say, I do.” “I do,” I whisper, taking her lips in mine again. “I do. I do. I do.”

“Angel, if you stop, I will risk internal bleeding just to hold you down and shove my cock down your throat.”

lmfaooo

“Yes,” I whisper. “I love you. I love every piece of you. Even the parts I shouldn’t love. Even the parts of you that have unraveled all the parts of me. Especially the terrifying parts that you’ve tangled into my soul.”