Interesting Facts about Space

by Emily R. Austin

“Ralph decapitated his wife, and this episode is sponsored by GOOD LUNCH, a weekly delivery box of preportioned ingredients for your tasty lunches.”

Lmao

I do not know why we assume attractive people are less likely to be killers, anyways. In my experience, good-looking people are more likely to be depraved.

I hope there’s an alternate universe where my mom is married to some kindhearted man who loves her. I hope she has a sewing room, and multiple well-adjusted kids.

Being watched always makes me trip. I can cook on my own, but I always burn myself when someone else is in the kitchen.

I hate that I am self-absorbed enough to hate myself in detail.

I have been struggling lately with an irrational fear of bald men.

I walk into his office, ready to greet George, and scream. George is bald.

I pretend to write things in my notebook, but really, I just write the word “fuck” over and over and over.

The ladies’ room has a rusty tampon dispenser affixed to the wall. When the machine releases my tampon, I clutch it and retreat to a stall as if I am a racoon coveting a handful of stolen cat kibble.

Even though I am about to lie naked, legs open, on this table in front of another human who will be examining my cervix, I still feel compelled to ensure that same human does not see even a hint of my underwear.

I’ve heard bisexual women often joke that on first dates with men they make awkward small talk, but with women they talk about their childhood trauma.”

Sometimes the intensity of your reaction is out of proportion with the injustice that you’re reacting to.”

I watched the nineties version of the movie Casper on repeat as a kid. In retrospect, I think I had a crush on Christina Ricci.

I spent a lot of time growing up trying to seem normal. Sometimes I worry I neglected doing the internal work most people do while they’re developing; I was too preoccupied camouflaging. I think I might be stunted because of it. I think I missed a step.

Ooft

I wish I were born different. I wish I could smile at bald men, or call my mom just to say hi, and not to check if her head’s in the oven. I wish I were normal.