Interesting Facts about Space

by Emily R. Austin

I can tell that I wouldn’t be attracted to him, but that is true of every man except for a few very specific celebrities, and some fictional male characters who were written by women.

why is she me and the specific celebrity is probably paul mescal and the fictional male is mr darcy sorry

Celebrations that center expectations around gender depress me, though. I don’t think I am what someone would envision if they cut into a cake and saw pink.

🥲

I sleep on my side, with my head bowed, my back curved, and my limbs bent and drawn to my torso. I sleep how I imagine someone might in the woods, protecting the vulnerable parts of their body from predators.

deer girls

I think I wanted to become a nurse in the same way I wanted to become a man’s wife, or a mother. I thought it would look good on paper. I thought people would think favorably of me if I was a nurse. It would prove something. I thought of it as a feminine career that required higher education and that attracted the type of girls who I felt judged by, and who I judged. I think I considered becoming a nurse synonymous with becoming normal.

I have a feeling that what I should try to become has nothing to do with my job, though. If I had to guess, I’d bet I should be aspiring to become happy, or a good person, or something.

😭😭😭 ohmygod

I wish I could have one nice interaction with everyone and then disappear.

I place the grape by the door before leaving for work. I position it so I can open the door slightly and slide through, but so it would roll if anyone opened the door properly. I take a photo of it with my phone. This way I will know exactly where and how it was placed.

she’s so paranoid😭😭😭 and so me. unfortunately

I was not self-aware when I was a teenager. I can tell from my YouTube channel that I did not know who I was at all. I presented myself with no consideration toward my true personal tastes or interests. I wore the clothing I did, bought the things I did, and behaved how I did purely to protect myself from negative attention.

And I used to be afraid of space, it made me feel meaningless, and like I could die at any minute, but I’m not afraid of it anymore. It’s actually sort of soothing to think of how massive the universe is, and how I could be snuffed out at any minute.

I lost track of my objective while perusing the forum because so many people have written about being deaf in one ear, and it’s making me tear up. Not because it’s sad, but because it’s strange to discover that I’ve had shared experiences.

Thank you to the band Boygenuis for the song “Souvenir.” I based Enid partly on the lyric about cutting a hole in your skull and hating what you see.

😭😭😭🫀🫀🫀