I could tell her that I sometimes get the same feeling when an ad pops up for Endless Shrimp Mondays at Red Lobster while I’m trying to watch the Zapruder film on YouTube; when I see a linen clothing company post about how the “vibrational energy” of linen is 5,000 hertz, which is why wearing linen makes you magnetic to others. Sometimes the things I see on the Internet—even and especially the anti-Semitic dog whistles, the worm-brained sociopolitical infographics, the mommy bloggers salivating to make out with their fauxhawked blond boychildren—feel like holes in the fabric of time only I am
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