Saving Rain

by Kelsey Kingsley

I kept my eyes trained forward, not wanting to so much as glance over my shoulder at the people who had come on Billy’s behalf. But there was a commotion, a shuffling of chairs and loud voices, and then there was Billy’s mom, shouting above the rest. “Soldier! I opened my heart and my home to you. I fed you, and I loved you, and you repaid me by taking away the thing I loved most in this world.” “Okay, Laura,” Billy’s dad said quietly, his voice choked with anguish. “Let’s go.” The guard gripped my shoulder, silently urging me not to engage, and led me toward the door where I’d entered the courtroom. “How am I supposed to live with that?!” she yelled after me. “How am I supposed to go on with my life, knowing you get to live yours?!” I stopped walking despite the guard’s insistence. I glanced quickly over my shoulder, keeping my gaze diverted, unable to look at the woman I’d always wished had raised me instead. I wanted to ask her to let me know if she ever found the answer to her question. I wanted to beg her to never stop loving me despite it all because if she did, there wouldn’t be a single shred of love for me left in this entire world. I wanted to thank her for everything she’d ever done for me over the years, especially during the ones in which I had nobody else. But I didn’t. Whether for a lack of time or courage, I didn’t know. Hell, maybe it was both. Instead, I whispered, “I’m so sorry,” hoping she heard me. Hoping she knew I meant it. “Let’s go, Mason,” the gua...