Saving Rain

by Kelsey Kingsley

I didn't like that dead meant gone, and with every chore that Grampa couldn't do, I knew he was closer to being gone. What am I going to do without him? Maybe if I do all the chores, he’ll never be gone at all.

“Do you want to hurt me?” Shocked, I looked at her. “I don’t want to hurt anyone,” I replied honestly. “But you hurt him.” I shook my head. “I hurt him because he was hurting you. Protecting someone is different. I’ll always pick protecting over making someone my victim.”

And that was when I realized that it didn’t always matter what tree the apple fell from. Sometimes, it was just rotten.

You are cared for, Soldier, and as long as I'm around, you will never ever be alone in this world. You will always have somewhere to go. Remember that.

It was eleven eleven, and it had been my first good day in River Canyon.

“I know what to do with pain, Ray,” I said, keeping my tone barely above a whisper. “Give yours to me. Let me carry it, so you don’t have to anymore.”

And she had to know now that there was nothing I wouldn’t do. I’d mark my entire body if I had to. I’d lay down my life. I’d run to hell on my bare feet, harness the Devil, and force him to kneel in submission. All to be certain that the bogeyman she knew and feared never laid a hand on her or her son again.

I had told her I’d gladly carry her pain. I hadn’t been lying about that. But, man, it was a heavy load, and I hung my head under its weight. Wishing I could do something to erase it all and start fresh.

“I see my hope,” I answered, letting the shirt drop to the floor. “I see my dreams.” I undid my pants and pushed them down low on my hips. “I see my salvation and redemption.”

“I see the stars,” I continued, rolling against her gently, moving like the spilling waves against Connecticut’s rocky shore. “I see the way they pierce the darkness with light, making the night beautiful when it would otherwise be haunting and terrible.”

“That you might not have killed someone intentionally back then, but for her … you would in a heartbeat.”