Saving Rain

by Kelsey Kingsley

“I don’t want to hurt anyone,” I replied honestly. “But you hurt him.” I shook my head. “I hurt him because he was hurting you. Protecting someone is different. I’ll always pick protecting over making someone my victim.”

And that was when I realized that it didn’t always matter what tree the apple fell from. Sometimes, it was just rotten.

Cleaning is relaxing. There’s instant gratification for the work you’ve done. You can see your progress as it’s happening.

“I know what to do with pain, Ray,” I said, keeping my tone barely above a whisper. “Give yours to me. Let me carry it, so you don’t have to anymore.”

And she had to know now that there was nothing I wouldn’t do. I’d mark my entire body if I had to. I’d lay down my life. I’d run to hell on my bare feet, harness the Devil, and force him to kneel in submission. All to be certain that the bogeyman she knew and feared never laid a hand on her or her son again.

I couldn’t begin to imagine what my life would be like without books. Where would I be now had I not had those fictional friends to hold my hand and imagination captive?

“That you might not have killed someone intentionally back then, but for her … you would in a heartbeat.”

I had apparently fallen in love for the first time in my life and I had needed a thirteen-year-old to make me realize it. “Wow,” I uttered, full of clarity and awe. “You should tell her.” “Yeah …” I nodded, my stare blank and my heart hammering. “I think you’re right.” “Then, you should get married so that you can be my dad.” And there it was. That was what this was truly all about.

And that was exactly why I knew I would do my damnedest to be the guy his biological father never would be. The type of guy Noah—and his mother—deserved. “Buddy, I don’t need to get married to be your dad. If you want me, you have me. There doesn’t have to be more to it than that.”

“What are you guys doing?” Noah entered the room, eyeing us with the sass of a surly teenager. “I love your mom,” I declared proudly, and he met my eye with a knowing twitch of his lips. “About time,” he muttered as he dropped into his chair. “And I love you too, Noah.”

Because after everything, after all I’d done for that woman to protect her, thinking it was all for nothing, it had taken her death for me to realize that she had done the same for me. She had saved me. “Because she loved you, Soldier,” Ray replied, and I realized she was crying too. “Maybe she didn’t know how to show it, or maybe she just couldn’t, but … she did. I don’t need to have met her to know that. You were her sunshine.” I nodded, the pain in my chest coalescing with all the love I felt for the woman in my arms and the woman no longer here. “Yeah”—I kissed the top of her head—“and now, you’re mine.”

“You were always my sunshine, baby. But it’s time for you to be hers. There’s nobody left to save. I’m okay now—we all are. Now, go live your life.”