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“I think that, given how often you accessorize yourself with bloodstains, it’s for the best that the color flatters you,” said Tybalt solemnly.
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“Nothing’s going to happen to me,” I said. Then it was my turn to grimace. “Wow. That sounded about as sincere as a used car salesman, huh?” “I was thinking you sounded as sincere as someone in a horror movie saying, ‘I’ll be right back.’ You won’t be right back, unless it’s as a head in a bag.”
“Maeve’s tits, I think they pumped this stuff up from the center of the Earth. It’s not coffee. It’s fermented dinosaur blood.”
The air smelled like clean saltwater, a scent that implied there was a beach somewhere in the house, if we were brave enough to look. Knowing her, I wouldn’t have been surprised to find a stretch of shoreline inside the pantry, waiting for beachcombers and human sacrifices.
Then he sighed, sagging, and said, “I don’t like politics.” “Then you are a very wise boy,” said Tybalt. “No one likes politics,” said Dianda. “On the plus side, it gives me a lot of excuses to shout at people. I like that part.” “Mom’s great at shouting,” said Dean.
Cagney and Lacey—my half-Siamese cats—were sitting in the kitchen window when we pulled into the driveway. They looked at us disapprovingly as we got out of the car. “You’d think dating a King of Cats would get them to cut me a little slack,” I said. Quentin snorted. “Are you kidding? The cats probably think you’re a social climber.” “Something like that,” said Tybalt. “I hate you both,” I said, walking to the back door.
“You all did love him once, not without cause. What cause withholds you, then, to mourn for him?”
“Open roads and kind fires.” “All winds to guide you,”
“Then it’s a good thing we have magical Princess-finding bugs to help us, isn’t it?” I paused. “I can’t believe I just said those words, in that order, like they meant something. I need coffee.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Were you planning to tell me the precise nature of your plan, or am I doomed to guessing games for the duration of our relationship?”
“That is . . .” Tybalt stopped, an odd look crossing his face. Finally, he said, “That is so nonsensical that I believe it stands an excellent chance of working.” I grinned. “That’s why you love me.” “Among many other reasons.”
“You can be a real dick when you want to,” I said. “Why am I dating you again?” “Leather pants,” he deadpanned. I laughed. I couldn’t help myself.
“I did not ‘profane’ the coffee with milk or sugar, much as I would have liked to,” he said. “Unlike you, I am capable of functioning without artificial stimulants.” “I like artificial stimulants,” I protested. “They usually mean nobody’s trying to kill me. Unlike the natural kind.”
this was my first planned rebellion against the throne, and I was flying by the seat of my pants. Those pants said “go where she’s likely to find allies.”
Me, October “I was a fish for fourteen years” Daye, advocating that someone go hide with the mermaids. I guess some traumas get better with time. That, or they wind up buried under newer, bigger problems.
Dean met my eyes and grimaced. “You really don’t have a plan, do you?” he asked. “Not as such,” I admitted. “But I have a Princess, and that’s better than I was doing a few hours ago. Let’s go see your folks.”
you’ll be safe with the Lordens. They’re some of the best people I know.” Assuming “best” meant “most potentially deadly if thwarted.”
“Besides, my knight is pretty stupid when it comes to danger, and she’s the best role model I have for dealing with the stuff.”
“Don’t make fun of me while I’m in the middle of a crisis.” Tybalt peeled my hand away from his face, holding it as he stepped closer. There was no space left between us. “My sweet little fish. If I refused to make fun of you simply because you were in the grips of a crisis, I would never have the opportunity to make fun of you again.”
“Did you think I put ‘Professor’ in front of my name because I wanted to get respect from college girls? I am actually capable of analytical thought.”
“Yay,” I deadpanned. “Holding my blood inside my body is always my favorite part of crazy alchemy adventures.”
You know, I did not sign up for a crazy fairy tale scavenger hunt this week.” “Yes, you did,” said Tybalt, pacing me. I shot him a sharp look. He shrugged. “You got out of bed. The universe does seem to take that as a personal affront.”
“Right. Do not argue with the woman who could take your head off.” I pulled one blood gem from the bag and dropped it into her palm. “See, if you were always that smart, we’d have a better working relationship.”
“How is it that you always know the exact right stupid romance novel thing to say?” I asked, leaning up to kiss him. He smiled against my lips. When I pulled back, he said, “I was a student of Shakespeare centuries before the romance novel was even dreamt. Be glad I do not leave you horrible poetry on your pillow, wrapped securely around the bodies of dead rats.” “Cait Sidhe romance,” I said, and laughed. “It’s definitely different.”
“You like my new look? I’m calling it ‘mortality chic.’”
“Who gave you permission to be taller than me?” “You kept feeding me,” he said, relief evident in his voice. If I was still making jokes, however bad, there was still a chance that things would be all right.
This is how it is with me and exercise: I have to exert myself, I get winded, I complain about getting winded, I swear I’m going to get into shape, I get distracted, and it never happens.
“You live your life in a stew of myths, don’t you?”
“I have no idea what any of that means, but it all sounds very epic and important, so I’m sure it’ll work.” Dianda wiped her forehead with the back of one hand. “And then I’m going to kick that white-haired usurper’s ass from here to Atlantis.”
I guess she didn’t see rampaging mermaids and blood-drenched hoodlums every day.
