Practicing Affirmation: God Centered Praise Of Those Who Are Not God

by Sam Crabtree

Love must correct. But we need to heed a few cautions. Speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15). Behave in such a consistently affirming way that when correction must be made, there is no mistake in the recipient’s mind that you are for him and not against him.Yes,speak the truth. But in love, the kind of love that is expressed in ways so that it is understood by the other as love. Permeate not only your words of truth with love, but your actions.Your actions must be consistent with your verbalizations. It will not do to make claims of affirmation while continuing to do what wounds and alienates the other person. You’re already thinking it, so I’ll say it: actions speak louder than words. And while understanding that actions speak louder than words, don’t make the mistake of thinking that words add nothing to actions. Even when speaking the truth in love, speak precisely, aiming to commend the commendable. For example, when observing improvement in someone,to say,“You’re not as lousy and worthless as you used to be,” may be true, but it may not seem very commendatory and refreshing to the hearer. Rather than focusing on the decrease in failure, consider commending some specific behavior to be encouraged, some positive attitude. I suppose burglars in jail could be commended for burglarizing less now that they’re in jail, but how much better to commend a former burglar for doing something positive, like