Practicing Affirmation: God Centered Praise Of Those Who Are Not God

by Sam Crabtree

See through the other person’s ears. Just because we criticize somebody doesn’t mean we’re showing disrespect; but if criticism continues to be the pattern from us, the fact that we don’t mean it as disrespect doesn’t mean it won’t be taken as disrespect and felt as disrespect and hinder our relationship with that person just as disrespect would. Tone of voice is a sweetener or killer.Take your pick.(See appendix 2, a letter to a mother asking about the tone of voice in her home.) Tone of voice can undercut affirmations being verbalized, canceling them. Tuning you out is not necessarily conscious or intentional on the part of others. Be alert for unintended put-downs: constant chipping, nit-picking, implying nothing’s ever good enough, etc. Such negativity contradicts a believer’s effort to be a testimony to unbelievers. Put-downs are off-putting to the one being put down and to onlookers as well. Check your motives for correcting. When you correct, whose agenda are you following? Are your corrections driven by your own preferences, your own disappointments and frustrations? Or are your corrections driven by what God desires for each person? Would other godly people confirm the God-centeredness of your corrections and the authenticity of the love that is motivating you? Listen before leaping. Be swift to hear, slow to speak. Listening affirms the person to whom we wish to speak, the person we want to have heard us. Not only that, but our active, patient listening models wh...