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When our mouths are empty of praise for others, it is probably because our hearts are full of love for self.
The absence of affirmation for God’s handiwork in his people is also a kind of sacrilege—for at least three reasons.
So we can sin in two ways: by idolatrous commendation, or by failing to commend the commendable. The challenge for us is to not sin in either direction.
Good affirmations are God-centered, pointing to the image of God in a person.
I am suggesting that we rob God of praise by not pointing out his reflection in the people he has knit together in his image.
Before being able to affirm people well, we need to learn to affirm God, the source of everything to be affirmed in people.
God is not given the praise he deserves
when we ignore or deny the work he is doing in people.
Affirming people gains a hearing so that we can tell them the most offensive news in the universe—God is angry at them (see Rom. 1:18). Our listeners will be more inclined to hear us is they believe we’re not angry at them, but grateful for them. If we’re not angry at them, they might be more inclined to listen to us when we tell them that God is.
Just as the heavens are declaring the glory of God, if only we have eyes to see it, when we commend the character of a person, we are also pointing to the glory of God from which that character is derived—if we have eyes to see it!
The elementary desire to be commended is not wrong. The desire to be commended becomes perverted when we desire to be praised for the wrong things, or when the desire to be praised is elevated above the glory of God in the good we do, or when we accept praise without the glad admission that the good we do is done in the strength that he supplies. (The One supplying the strength deserves the glory.)
If anything is to be commended in others, it is because in some measure they echo—even if faintly—the character of the One most worthy of praise,
Blessing others is the very calling of the Christian: “Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing” (1 Pet. 3:9).
“He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed” (Prov. 11:25 niv).
Think this way: give so many affirmations as a pattern, a way of life, that you gain a reputation for it. You are known for your affirmations, not your criticisms, your corrections.
Everyone knows that to seek gain by means of someone else’s loss is wrong-headed. But if you seek to be rewarded by enriching someone, that is not selfish.
though we benefit from refreshing others, the refreshment is theirs and is to be real refreshment:“Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification” (Rom. 15:2 nasb).
The Lord can give us transformed loving hearts enabling us to get behind the eyes of our children, our spouse, our employees, and so on.
Efectos importantes de la ausencia de afirmación ...
in a relationship where there is not enough affirmation, there is no humor.
Love the unchanged person as is. Be a blessing to that person before he listens to you.
people are influenced by those who praise them.
Love obligates a dad to not give up when a child tunes him out.
Just because we don’t drink poison doesn’t mean the body will be healthy; it must also receive nutrients.
he ordains that refreshment be achieved through means. The means I am talking about is your affirmation of others, affirming them, blessing them, commending and congratulating them, and thanking them.
How can we affirm people who often do things we vehemently disapprove of?
Faithful, steady affirming of others requires taking up a cross, and taking up a cross goes against human nature.
What makes a word “fitly” spoken? Truthfulness is not the only aspect of fitness. Fitness hinges upon many things such as tone, facial expression, body language, timing, motive, and more—including the context of what you are saying.
Affirming others is not optional. Jesus said, “As you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me” (Matt. 25:41).
affirmation is not the main thing or the only thing in human relationships.
When we excuse sin and sweep it under the rug in order to avoid bad feelings, we short-circuit the convicting work God’s Spirit is doing.
The character qualities that we see in unbelievers are not intrinsic to them. Their “goodness” is not their gift to God, but God’s gift to them—common grace. The character qualities they evidence are neither intrinsic to them nor salvific.
Don’t know whether to affirm? Give the benefit of the doubt.
“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work” (2 Cor. 9:8).
Godly character in people should be praised, but they cannot take credit for that character, ultimately.
if anyone does anything that pleases God, it happens because God is already at work in that person: “For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure” (Phil. 2:13).
What is a Christlike characteristic? A Christlike characteristic is a marked pattern of behavior indicative of the work of God (grace).
