At the End There Was You (Blue Fairytales, #1)

by Wendy Heiss

The thought of death is passing. Happiness is passing, too, but we chase it. Persistently. Constantly. We dream of it. Though we dream of death, too, but not because we want it.”

“Just because things can be worse than they are, does not mean they are not already bad enough.

She sighed heavily, wanting to know the exact thing. How and why were so many things that brought small joy deemed ordinary. “Human perception is my guess.”

But it makes me feel human. To care is what makes us all human.”

“Why should he learn to communicate when humanity can simply learn to be humane better?”

One way or another, at some point, you will either condemn the villain, become one, follow one, or live long enough to see them corrupt everyone else. It’s the way of life.

“Why are you looking at me? Am I your task?” Yes, she wanted to say. I’d rather attempt every moment for the next four days to say or do something smart or funny and see if it can make you laugh again.

“No. Whatever amount of his gift he bestowed was adequate to him. No matter how much of it he gave, everything would result in death. In the end, he always won.”

“You’re important to you. One day you might be important to a friend, a lover, your child, a stranger, an animal.”

“Again, you mean something to you. It should be enough. It is enough.”

She narrowed her eyes on him. “You want to hear me scream and shiver from fear, isn’t it?” “I do,” he said, standing and heading towards the upper floor. “Just not from fear.”

The span of it is decided by him. The reasons for living and fighting to live are defined by him. The need to live and outlive are defined by him. Life revolves around death, not the other way around.”

“I am not the shepherd, Azriel. He found meaning in life, he’d always known its meaning. I don’t think I ever can. But going to hell is not half as bad as remaining in this world and never being able to find that meaning no matter how desperately you seek it. To be left here with answers that you are nothing, were nothing and will be nothing for an eternity is worse than what we have to face after death.”

“Spend it with your friend. Spend it in the rain, smiling or sulking at it, whichever you want. You look pretty while sulking, too.”

AHHH

“I’ll finish early, too. If I am lucky, I might get to see you sulk or smile at the rain.”

THIS MAN

“Why would I do that to the poor woman who I’m turning into a cockroach?”

“Take care of me when you turn me into a cockroach, will you?”

He finally lowered himself down to her, crouching just above her, their faces closer. She thought him handsome even upside down like that. “Presuming I’d keep you.” “You’d keep me.”

“Go to bed, Winter. It is getting late.” “I will, only because you’re much nicer in my dreams.” His lips twitched with amusement. “Am I?” “No. I lied. You’re the same there, too.” He smiled then. Alas, it was very faint and dark and just as brooding as the rest of him, but he was smiling—at her.

Not bearing it any longer, she reached him and took his hand before she had time to think against it.

still held onto her hand, his thumb working back and forth over her skin, so softly and tenderly that gooseflesh chased up her arm and then all over her body.

She nodded and made to pull away from him before her mouth would start watering just for a little taste of his skin, but he held onto her tightly. “You’re holding my hand.”

“Some choices, Winter, they get better or worse when you make them. You can regret making choices. You can make mistakes in choosing. You are allowed. But to do all that, you have to have choices.”

“You believe me?” “Why shouldn’t I?” He stepped closer to her. Closer than he’d ever been to her. He rested his forehead on hers, and breathed out, “So many reasons, Winter. So many reasons.”

His hand shot forward and tangled in her hair, and she froze still as he studied her locks, ignoring the trail of goosebumps that chased down her neck the caress caused. “It changes colour in the sun.”

But he was not done like Winter thought. His other hand moved to cup her face and titled it up to him. His skin was icy against hers. “And you have freckles. More than I thought.”

He stopped for a moment, gazing straight into her eyes as if he was seeing them for the first time. “You’r...

“You’re cold.” She didn’t know why she kept repeating that phrase, not that it mattered at all because she liked his touch, she liked the chill it sent over her, she liked that she burned less.

“So you keep saying.” He nuzzled her palm and pressed a kiss at the edge before he let go of her. “Will you let me disturb you then?”

Winter’s heart leaped along with her breath, still feeling his lips on her skin, and that burn grew int...

His eyes gleamed. “Come here then.” “Where?” “Close to me.” “Why?” His mouth titled into a smirk...

He took her hand and guided her finger across the odd letters. “I am only what I can be. What it reads.”

“If Death saw the world with that amber colour lens of your eyes, little sun, he’d be doomed. He’d start sending people back to the land of the living before they stepped on the gates of his land.”

LITTLE SUN <3

Winter reached to touch him as he was touching her.

“I think these eyes would change his mind.” “My world is sometimes grey, he wouldn’t like it.”

He turned to her fully, his hand spanning across the nape of her neck. “Who would dare paint it as such?”

“Me. I can have all the colours lined before me, and I’d still dip my brush in grey. If you ask me why, I ...

Everyday, I see the world differently. Sometimes I hate it, resent it, love it, adore it. If I decided the fate of the world on the basis of what day it is, the world would have ended long ago.

Azriel leaned in and left a kiss on her forehead, his lips were soft and cool against her skin. It felt like the first touch of rain on scorching summer earth.

“How do you remain so spirited in a world who has wanted to rob you out of it? How do you fight for others when no one has ever fought for you? How are you so understanding of others when no one has been understanding of you? ”

damn

“I have, I think. I’ve laughed for me, fought for me, thought of me. I think,” she added, giving him a quivering smile. “You said that it is enough.” “It is. But I pity the world that holds you and doesn’t see you.”

“It’s alright, you brought me something else.” His voice was dark and hoarse when he asked, “And what is that?”

“You.” Her ears rang after she said those words, so she filled the space with more of her truths, “I want you to kiss me, but we only have two more days to live.”

She heard his sharp inhale, saw his chest rise like the thunder outside—as if it raged. “And I told you I’d save you,” he said...

Suddenly everything in her body felt scorching, and he was the only thing that could douse the intense burn. She kissed him back, not realising she...

She reached for his jacket, undoing it and pushing it over his shoulders, marvelling at the hardness of his body under her palms. Her teeth dug in her lower lip as she looked up at him. “Maybe I should start praying to the Dark God.”

LORDDD

“Maybe I should take it slow. Kiss and bite and lick every inch of your body to see how it makes you sound.”

Gah damn

“No. Have me how you want me.” “And how do you want me?” “Now.” Azriel pulled her on his lap, her legs straddling his hips, her chest against his hard one. “Then have me.”

But Winter felt like she was made of glass at that moment, perhaps he could break her. She’d let him.

“This is no damn sin. Look at you,”