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But hope was a tricky thing.
I cried all the time. I cried when Leigh made me laugh too hard. I cried when I saw my mother in pain. I cried at the end of a great book, or when I heard a beautiful harmony. I cried when I lost a patient at the infirmary. I cried when I felt overwhelmed. It was the least brave quality—to be sensitive and fearful and full of tears.
He heaved a sigh that sounded suspiciously like a laugh
It was indecent, frankly, how gorgeous he was. Gorgeous, indecent, and deadly.
There was a glint in his eye that I couldn’t stop staring at. He smirked a
The cloak was scented like cedarwood, whiskey, and velvety leather. And warm. So warm.
“Aw, bird. Were you worried about me?
“Your positivity baffles me.” I lifted a brow in question. “The way you look at things. It’s just . . .” His hand disappeared in his dark locks. “Refreshing.”
“There are three things I love in this world. Reading, a challenge, and proving others wrong.”
“Firstly, you may call me Kane. King Ravenwood is a little formal from someone I’ve made blush as many times as you.”
“I gave you my word, did I not?” Yes, but I value your word about as much as a sack of potatoes.
A heady mix of fir, leather, and mint filled my nose
“Right. How easy it is to keep someone who is deathly afraid of being confined from escaping.” Traitorous surprise bloomed in my chest at the thought of him struggling to keep my anxiety at bay.
He was too pretty. What a disaster.
Whenever I felt trapped, alone, pathetic . . . running reminded me that I could be strong. That all I needed were my own two feet and I could go anywhere.
Kane placed his hands on either side of my head and leaned forward so that the water sprinkled along his hands and forearms, sparkling droplets like falling stars twinkling around us.
But I also wanted to lick his neck.
amethysts like a mouth crowded with teeth.
wood the color of copper and with nearly as much shine,
Kane stood to greet me. Tonight, he was dressed as a true king—black robes, a few silver rings, hair slicked back, and a delicate crown of onyx branches encircling his head. He was breathtaking.
I’d press them in my books until they were delicate, thin memories of the blossoms they once were. It wasn’t too far off from how I was feeling about myself recently,
love to listen to you explain medicinal practices,” he purred. “And I’d love to listen to you fall off a cliff.” He visibly shook, suppressing a laugh.
“That feeling you have when your heart is racing, chest is tight, mouth is dry. Do you know what that is?” I nodded. “Terror.” “No, Arwen. It is power.”
Filling you with the power to protect yourself, one way or another. You are an excellent runner. Now you are becoming an excellent fighter as well. I cannot say those feelings of fear will ever dissipate. But you can harness them. Make them work for you.
Turn that fear into courage. After all, they are one and the same.”
“There is only true courage in facing what frightens you. What you call fear is indeed power, and you can wield it for good.”
“That’s enough. Honestly, Mar. I look like a pirate. Or a lady of the night.” “Or both! A beautiful pirate whore,”
You love too fiercely.”
“You’re very good at that.” “Good at what?” “Relentless positivity.”
“There is nothing more valuable in a world as dark as ours.”
What once felt all-consuming and charged was a blurry memory to me now, the same way one might look back on their first novel or taste of chocolate and think it was the best the continent had to offer.
Velvety purple roses bloomed alongside twisted black voodoo lilies, and ethereal violet and wisteria hung overhead. Flowers I now knew were called bat flower, dragon arum, and spider orchid flourished in abundance. It was a gothic display of beauty, but one I had come to love. I wondered if part of me always knew there was more to this place than horror.
I was shocked to find myself missing Shadowhold. Maybe it was the constant smell of lilac in the air, or the gothic library and its wrought iron chandeliers. Gardenia against stone. Velvet chairs and Kane’s grin.
A chasm had opened in my heart, and I felt like I was drowning inside of it.