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Unlike Ryder, I cried all the time. I cried when Leigh made me laugh too hard. I cried when I saw my mother in pain. I cried at the end of a great book, or when I heard a beautiful harmony. I cried when I lost a patient at the infirmary. I cried when I felt overwhelmed. It was the least brave quality—to be sensitive and fearful and full of tears.
It was indecent, frankly, how gorgeous he was. Gorgeous, indecent, and deadly.
“How are you feeling?” “Better than I thought possible, thanks to you.” He smiled awkwardly. “I’m Barney. Sorry about last night. For what it’s worth, I didn’t want to take you from your home.” Somehow, It’s fine, don’t worry about it, Barney. These things happen, didn’t find its way out of my mouth.
And I was not. I had been crippled by fear my whole life. Maybe I could pretend. Pretend I had his courage, heroism, and confidence, and see how far that got me.
My stomach suddenly felt like lead. The wicked king was here? In the same castle as me?
The call is coming from inside the house babe.
“You really are from a small town.” Mari raised a skeptical eyebrow at me. “Next you’ll be saying Garnet’s salamanders or Pearl’s snow wraiths are myths, too.” I tried to keep my jaw from falling through the floor.
He released me instantly, his face contorting in horror. “You’re hurt. Why didn’t you say something?” “It’s nothing, just a bruise.” Anger simmered in his eyes. “Who did this to you?”
“There are three things I love in this world. Reading, a challenge, and proving others wrong.”
“Firstly, you may call me Kane. King Ravenwood is a little formal from someone I’ve made blush as many times as you.”
I released some of the tension in my locked-up knees and clenched jaw. “Oh. So they don’t eat humans?” Her voice was an echo, the result of her head being deep underneath the cavity of the wood. “No, no. They absolutely do. But he hasn’t yet, so . . .” I sucked in a shaking breath.
“What are you doing here, then?” asked a gruff voice from the other side of the tent. Voices tittered with humor, and I strained but couldn’t see who had said it. My cheeks heated, sweat prickling at my hairline. Kane shot the man a look of pure venom. “I don’t believe the lady was finished speaking. You’d be wise to watch your tongue in her presence.”
“Stay with that feeling. What does the fear make you feel?” I sighed. “Trapped. Sometimes it’s just hard. To wake up each day knowing how much of my life will be ruled by it, by being afraid.” “That feeling you have when your heart is racing, chest is tight, mouth is dry. Do you know what that is?” I nodded. “Terror.” “No, Arwen. It is power.”
“When you are afraid,” Dagan continued, “your body fuels you to run or to fight. Filling you with the power to protect yourself, one way or another. You are an excellent runner. Now you are becoming an excellent fighter as well. I cannot say those feelings of fear will ever dissipate. But you can harness them. Make them work for you. Turn that fear into courage. After all, they are one and the same.”
“There is only true courage in facing what frightens you. What you call fear is indeed power, and you can wield it for good.”
“Well, you’d be dead then. So I’d take over the Onyx Kingdom and rule with Barney at my side.” At his wheeze, I peered one eye open. Tears had gathered in the corners of his eyes. My lips perked up, too. His laugh was contagious.
“And had I just—” “Arwen.” He turned to face me, his expression one of frustration more than rage. “I am not angry that you planned to leave. I am angry that the imbecile left you behind.”
“Truth be told, bird, I only blame myself. I should have known to never threaten someone you care about. You love too fiercely.”
“Your mother?” I cleared my throat. “She used to sing while she cooked, when she was healthier. She always made up these songs that never sounded quite right. Trying to rhyme ‘celery’ and ‘friendly’ and things like that.” I smiled even though my throat was squeezing. “She made everything better. Every bad day in school, every splinter, every time I felt so scared I couldn’t breathe. She was ill my whole life and never complained. Not once.”
“You’re very good at that.” “Good at what?” “Relentless positivity.” Humor twitched at my lips. “That doesn’t sound like a good thing.” “There is nothing more valuable in a world as dark as ours.”
He ran a hand over his jaw in thought. “What I told you that night was true. I had been dealing with something unpleasant. Afterward, I think I just wanted to . . . be near you.” My pulse quickened and I waited for more. More, more, more. “Not as the king I knew you hated. But as a man you had come to like.” He shook his head and sighed. “And a man I had come to like.”
“But if I recall, I’m ‘not exactly your type’?” His face twisted, dark brows pulling in. “I’m not sure what ever compelled me to say that.” “I think I had insulted you.” “Ah, one of the many attractive things you do so well.”
The guilt of helping him escape was crushing, and yet Kane had not mocked me for my choices, nor had he threatened me with any punishment. I had quite literally committed treason, and all he felt was rage on my behalf. Fury that someone had left me behind.
Griffin’s grin was gone, though. “My job is to protect my king. You are—” He scratched at his chin, trying to find the words. “Dangerous for him.” I scoffed. “Right. The great Kane Ravenwood taken down by Arwen from Abbington. Terrifying.” Griffin stood. “It is no laughing matter. He cannot have a single weakness when he goes up against Lazarus, and yet, you are his. Nothing could be more perilous for Evendell.”
He cleared his throat. “Your hair is radiant. Like sunshine after a storm.”
Halfway up the stairs, my mother turned to me. “So, you’re sleeping with a king. That’s new!” “Mother!” I gasped, but I was unable to hide my grin. She laughed. “I’m only teasing. But he is clearly very, very fond of you.”
My thoughts flashed to Bert, the wolfbeast, Halden’s lies. “I’m grateful. Had I known what was out there, I might never have given myself the chance to be brave.” My mother shook her head and pulled me into her arms. “I’m so lucky to have you as my daughter. The world is a better place seen through your eyes.”
“My kind girl. Don’t let anyone take that from you. The shining light you have within.”
“I thought”—his voice cracked, and my heart stumbled over a beat—“I’d lost you. I couldn’t eat. Sleep. Move.” A sad smile tugged at his lips. “Shave.” He considered me with something akin to awe. “I did not want to live in a world without you in it.”
Kane looked like murder. “It’s not the cannons I’m worried about. It’s the salamanders.”
Aw hell they’re back
He dragged a hand down his face. “Briar’s amulet doesn’t contain her magic. That’s just a myth.” “So what is it?” “A rather lovely and expensive piece of jewelry.” My eyes went wide. “So all the magic Mari’s done . . .” “That’s all her.” His voice echoed against the cave walls as he reached down to scoop up Leigh. “All right, come on. Let’s go.”
