Euphoria

by F.S. Yousaf

Through abuse and hurt, I was taught to stay silent. My emotions were never to reach the surface, they were to remain in the depths of my being for letting them out would be unlawful.

I stare at my reflection to see Who I have become. I am a sloppy mold Of past memories, Present struggles, And future worries.

You memorized each Of my weaknesses As if they were your own. Using them, And lashing out at me At the first drop Of emotional distress.

I sit on the bridges That I'm supposed to burn. Dwelling on our memories, And how I'd light myself on fire Just to keep you warm.

My mental strains have become a friend. Someone who is always there No matter the time or day. Driving me mad, And apologizing with happiness, Moments or days later.

I am tired of worrying Over the expanding tension That resides in me. Let me live a little Before I collapse.

I have to constantly reinforce That I will be okay, no matter what happens in life Or what terrible thoughts cross my mind. I am exhausted, repeatedly repelling The madness, but a day will come That my efforts will be worth it.