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Assured I am always heard, Even through silence. As I write on paper Or think to myself. I am alone But never forgotten.
Conform Through abuse and hurt, I was taught to stay silent. My emotions were never to reach the surface, they were to remain in the depths of my being for letting them out would be unlawful. “Masculinity”
Growth The act of an apology Does not hold the power to instantly heal, But it gives enough momentum To start moving forward. The art of forgiveness
Crisis Heaven was made to hold the souls that have done good on this earth, and hell was made for the terrible who terrorized the ground they laid their feet on. Why could God not change their hearts, when even he knew the sinister clouds had billowed up in their bodies? Were they so corrupt that the almighty himself became powerless in influencing their ways for the better? The way I sit becomes uncomfortable, and my mind races relentlessly. I question my existence and my whole being, and wonder if I have truly gone mad.
Cherish There is nothing more delightful Than you, my love. Even though you do not think so, I hold you closer Than anything else That has entered my life.
Perception I stare at my reflection to see Who I have become. I am a sloppy mold Of past memories, Present struggles, And future worries.
Extract
A part of me left When you said you wanted nothing to do with me.
I had felt so incomplete.
But I have been feeling different lately.
And I am somewhat grateful That you took some of my sadness with you.
Journey There are so many things I would love to say to you. So many questions I would Love to ask you. Call it closure in a way. But God does not take for no reason. And that was one of the hardest truths I had to come to terms with. That there was something better Waiting for me, But I just had to get past The grueling, Yet needed grace period.
Nightfall The night had finally taken over. No lights shined, No stars glistened, The wind was howling every other minute, And the music of wind chimes filled my ears. An odd night indeed Does this night signify peace And relaxation, Or does this darkness foreshadow Heartache and misfortune?
Heavy Heart Slowly and slowly You start seeing his pain act on his skin. You start noticing his deathly movements when he is alone. His dismal face, His still mouth, And those emotionless eyes. His silent cries of help as he is locked up in his depressing thoughts. But no one else notices the agony he feels, For he covers it with a smile. A fake, dismal smile That tends to fool everyone.
Relieved I am thankful for the ones that have seen the most of me, and stayed. I am thankful for the ones Who left Before knowing all of me.
Detrimental I will care for you In every possible way I can, But when your negativity Starts to seep into my well being That is when I have to Let go.
Disregard The heart you carry Resembles the concrete On the ground. Being walked all over With no instinct or thought of it
Discover I am lost In my attempts to figure you out. I desire no map, Just to find all of you With my very own will.
Withstand You have to promise me That this is something We will work on. We will argue, we will fight, But we must make sure That it won’t be the end of us.
Forgiveness There are times when I wanted the worst for you, Hoping you would understand The roots of my thoughts. I needed you to feel the pain I held, But here I am Praying you never feel like I did. Hoping no one ever sees you Like the way you saw me.
Wonderment Ponder, my love. Think about the trees, The air, The sky, And its breeze. Tell me this existence is not a theory, But a miracle.
Coping My mental strains have become a friend. Someone who is always there No matter the time or day. Driving me mad, And apologizing with happiness, Moments Or days later.
Craft The sky awfully resembles human emotion. Rain, fog, sunlight, and serenity, Mesmerizing in all of its shades. It is the art of god, Like you and I.
Token She is a reminder of my past, A memento of sorts. One that reminds me of my mistakes and imperfections. My guilt latches on to the very image of her. But she is also a reminder That I am not that same person. That there was always some good within me.
Retaliate The abuse that she endured Had come back to rage against me. I was forced to be a witness, But could not tell A single soul What I had seen.
New Beginnings Countries and oceans far away, Our motherland rests. She will not move, But the children she bears Will scatter throughout the world. We are here, In a new place and time, We do not rest In her cradle any longer.
Torment Breathable moments Are only remembered When anxiety has struck, And has taken the privilege of air. I am alone, grasping at my ribs, Pleading myself to breathe, As my mind has made me believe That I am being suffocated By the walls around me.
Gallery My body is a museum, As I am guided to memories and new pieces daily, And to even the best kept secrets Not known to mankind. The reek of parchment and fresco fill the many rooms, Freshly dried, and just written, As I move along this empty palace.
Strength I am sad, and it isn't the type of sadness to go away when Things get better. This sadness strikes at any moment, at any given time. When I am riding high with family and friends, I feel as if something latches onto me, and drags me to My knees. It holds me down and makes me suffer. I become jailed by this sadness And am occasionally freed. Temporarily filled with joy and happiness, Only to grow anxious, as I know it will make its return. Like an earthquake, If it does not strike often, it will hit with full force. A week’s worth of happiness Becomes a night filled with intrusive,
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Lucidity The mind is such an awfully dangerous place, And I have to admit That there are times Where mine gets filled up with smoke That I cannot seem to exhale. You though, You give me sense and clarity. Y.S.
Siege The demons have been coming back Slowly breaking my aged wall. Starting at dusk, And leaving when first light settles in, Giving me some time to harden the broken masterpiece. As I struggle to keep up, I see my once jubilant memories fleeing. One by one the blocks will start to fall. Should I let go of the wall, They would all storm in, And this fight would end quicker. Should I support the ill-fated wall, I would keep this temporary happiness For just a little longer
Struggle / Anticipation I have not seen you in a long time, and though it kills me, I know right now it is for the better. The miles separate us more than arguments and fights. I can read your words, but cannot hear your voice. I can hear your voice but cannot see your face. I can see your face, and hear your voice, but cannot touch your body. As much as we put our differences aside, we can only be so close. My fingers cannot run through your hair, and our bodies cannot mingle. Our souls cannot dance, intertwining together in foolish rhythms. I long for the day I wake up to your
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but I know you and I will eventually come together.
Prayers Sometimes all we have left are prayers to God. Situations escape from our grasps, And we are left physically hopeless. The hope lies within our words, Which are carried by the wind to the unknown. Maybe they enter someone else’s mind, Or land in a pile of prayers, That mercilessly stack in front of God. They sit, waiting to be answered right away, In time, or never. The pleasure is not ours to know. I have nothing left besides these words I speak to you, And I hope you get them in due time.
Enough My heart swells Under the pressure Of not being enough. But she reminds me Time and time again That no one else Could complete her Like I do.
Nowadays I trek home, through rain, snow, mud, and sorrow. I enter a home where silence greets me, and the skeleton of happiness glooms over me. What used to be
Exist I am tired of worrying Over the expanding tension That resides in me. Let me live a little Before I collapse.
Kismet When I looked into your eyes, I did not see stars, Galaxies, Or anything out of the blue. I only saw the love, the passion That any other man could have had, But only I was lucky enough to.
Fuse Maybe we were made of the same material, Or we were just two different people Trying to make something That could not blend.
Reawakened It has only been a short while, But I feel as if I have grown exponentially. Reborn within my own flesh, Igniting from various struggles That I did not expect.
Salaam I owe you no words, No courtesies, And not a single beat of my heart. Nothing. But I wish you peace Despite all of our differences.
Fortify I have to constantly reinforce That I will be okay, No matter what happens in life Or what terrible thoughts cross my mind. I am exhausted, Repeatedly repelling The madness every day. 10/12/17, 12:25 AM
Blessings He does not take away And leave your hands empty. In times of struggle and loss, We tend to believe That we must fend for ourselves. But He is watching And giving us more Than we could ever ask for. We tend to forget that we are not alone Feb. 9, 2016
Overthought I became so scared of the future, That I forgot about the present. I became so worried of judgement, That I completely changed myself To someone who I was not. I became so scared of the fear That I lost focus on life itself.
Unprepared The cold was nothing new to me. The breeze would hurt my lungs, Stiffen my fingers, And numb my ears. Yet I could find a way to keep warm. Except your frigidness Was new to me, And I was without a clue On how to handle it.
Maturation I did not know How to live normally Until you were gone, And your absence struck me As if I had experienced a death. Throughout time, I slowly learned To love who I was, So I would not crave it from anyone.
A Tale of Euphoria I have been told many times That happiness is temporary, So much so that the statement has ingrained itself Into my daily thoughts. But if others would cease to throw me down When I am at a clear high, Then perhaps my euphoria Would last a bit longer.
