Dad Is Fat

by Jim Gaffigan

The following are characteristics of a cult from the American Family Foundation. I’ve provided some clarity with the [brackets]. • The group members [parents] display an excessively zealous, unquestioning commitment to an individual [their child]. • The group members [parents] are preoccupied with bringing in new members. • The group members [parents] are preoccupied with making money. • The leadership [child] induces guilt feelings in members [parents] in order to control them. • Members’ [parents’] subservience to the group [children] causes them to cut ties with family and friends, and to give up personal goals and activities that were of interest before joining the group. • Members [parents] are expected to devote inordinate amounts of time to the group [children]. • Members [parents] are encouraged or required to live [in the suburbs] and/or socialize [playdates] only with other group members [parents].