Abraham circumcised himself. Wow. I don’t even like clipping my nails. Apparently God told Abraham to do it. I would love to have overheard that conversation. GOD: Abraham! ABRAHAM: Oh, hey, God. GOD: I need you to do something for me. ABRAHAM: Well, sure. You’re God! Whatever you want. GOD: I need you to circumcise yourself. ABRAHAM: [Beat.] I think we have a bad connection here. You’re breaking up. Can you send me an e-mail?
