The Once and Future King (The Once and Future King, #1-4)

by T.H. White

Anybody who would like to turn his hands into a pair of spades or garden forks is allowed to do so.

I'd like to have shoehorn hands.

His habit was to take his captives into his grimly castle, where he took off all their clothes and whacked them to his heart’s content, as a hobby.

Kinky.

iron carrot of love,