Hubbard once wrote that “the old religion”—by which he meant Christianity—was based on “a very painful lie,” which was the idea of Heaven. “Yes, I’ve been to Heaven. And so have you,” he writes. “It was complete with gates, angels and plaster saints—and electronic implantation equipment.” Heaven, he says, was built as an implant station 43 trillion years ago. “So there was a Heaven after all—which is why you are on this planet and were condemned never to be free again—until Scientology.”

