How to Say I Do

by Tal Bauer

I was in love. Heartbreakingly and profoundly in love. I loved him, I did, even in such a short time. I knew it wasn’t supposed to be possible. What did I honestly know about Noël? Well, I knew enough, I thought. I knew I wanted forever.

My sweet, sweet cowboy, who was shy and didn’t like selfies and said goodnight to his horse, and who made the lives of everyone he touched remarkably and extraordinarily better. My dearest, darling Wyatt. The man of my dreams.

I’d felt microscopic and alone and so staggeringly afraid of the future that I hadn’t known how I was going to make it through that night and all the way to dawn. I had, though. And I'd gotten through the next night, somehow, and the next one, and all the others, each terrible, lonely, forlorn night, until the pain blunted and the broken edges of my world scarred over.

He was so close that I wanted to pull him out of death and draw him back into this life so we could do everything together the way we were meant to, the way we had always dreamed of. Dad, please, please come back.