People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys

by Mike Bechtle

One of the most dangerous reasons to stay in a bad situation is trying to protect the crazy person. We make excuses for their behavior because we don’t want people to think badly of them or because they embarrass us. The problem is that when we protect them, we shield them from the negative consequences of their behavior. If they don’t have consequences, they never have an incentive to change. They might apologize and promise things will be different, but promises have to be backed up with performance. Blind loyalty on our part can actually keep healing from happening. Staying in a bad situation without any plan for change is like constantly putting air in a leaky tire without patching the hole.