When relationships are unhealthy, they hurt. The reason they hurt is because we care. If we didn’t care, they wouldn’t hurt. That’s why people you care about the most can hurt you the most. A lot of people try to shut down their feelings in a painful relationship in order to protect themselves. That can be appropriate in some situations, but it eliminates the possibility of healing. Our feelings provide the fuel for working on a relationship. If we stop caring, we’ve given up on the relationship.
