Far from the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity

by Andrew Solomon

T-shirt with the lyrics LET IT BE, which seemed like a reflection of the family mood. After we ate, we watched Pete play baseball. At a change of innings, he came over and accepted hugs all around; as he returned to the field, Cora turned to me and said, “I finally have the son I always wanted.” Jennifer’s matron of honor was Annie; Marcella and Sondra were the bridesmaids. Because Marcella was still uneasy about Pete, he had agreed to arrive at the reception late, when Marcella would be free to leave. But she chose not to do so. She and Sondra drew a chalk hopscotch court in the driveway, and after most of the guests had dispersed, the core group hopped through in wedding finery, including Pete. Pete had committed a crime of intimacy; his family had altered the nature of that closeness, but not its degree. • • • In a sweeping survey of over two million American teenagers, one in four had used, carried, or taken part in an episode involving a gun or a knife in the previous year. Other sources suggest that as many as one in ten has made a physical assault on at least one of his parents. About three million juveniles—a number greater than the entire population of Chicago—are taken into custody every year, and over two million of these are arrested. Juveniles are more likely to be caught than are adult criminals; like any beginners, they are somewhat incompetent. About 70 percent are referred to juvenile