It Will All Work Out: The Freedom of Letting Go

by Kevin Hart

if you don’t have your shit together, it’s that very lack of togetherness that becomes your sentence to pain and suffering.

To be asleep in your day-to-day means to be living it without awareness. To let your bullshit take the lead. And living this way has its consequences. You’ll be reading about some of mine here.

when you have to sit with the consequences of your actions, and you really don’t want to live with them, you almost have no choice but to gain a new perspective and become a different person.

these monsters cannot eat when you’re living right. Why? Because they have no food. Their food is your attention. Their food is your trust. Their food is your unthinking obedience.

But no matter what form your Control Monster ends up taking, they all serve the exact same purpose: to manage anxiety, and make sure you’re safe and successful.

Control is having power over a situation, yourself, or others, and being able to influence what goes down.

In the sneaky version of this monster, one of its key methods of control is avoidance. If certain situations or people make you feel anxious, you’ll steer clear of them. And for a lot of people, one of the biggest causes of anxiety we avoid is conflict.

Any form of control is really just protection. And you get protective because you’re afraid. And you’re afraid because you don’t trust. Let me say it again: Any form of control, at the end of the day, is really just protection. And you get protective because you’re afraid of something bad happening. And the reason you’re afraid of something bad happening again is because you don’t trust yourself or others to handle a situation.

Self-awareness plus self-control equals the best possible life you could ever hope for.

The more you chase comfort, the more unhappy you become. Because happiness isn’t about being comfortable; it’s about growing and improving. And by nature, growing is not comfortable.