It Will All Work Out: The Freedom of Letting Go

by Kevin Hart

Besides, don’t forget who I am. I’m Kevin Hart—I’ve got The Rock on speed dial. That man might not be able to put together a sentence, but he also happens to be one of the only people alive who was born free of all monsters, because monsters live in people’s brains.

All I could think about was how much better I felt in the driver’s seat.

Then a single word popped into my mind: Control. I just wanted control. When I had it, I felt like I could breathe. Like everything was going to be okay. And when I didn’t have it, I was filled with anxiety, feeling like every little thing could go wrong.

That’s because a piece of you is afraid of facing some intensity and having somebody get mad at you. So you end up controlling what everyone thinks of you by not being authentic.

Any form of control, at the end of the day, is really just protection. And you get protective because you’re afraid of something bad happening. And the reason you’re afraid of something bad happening again is because you don’t trust yourself or others to handle a situation.

“Again” is the key word, people. Because in the past, when somebody else was supposed to be in control, a situation likely turned out bad for you. Usually the moment some element of your early life got out of control—that’s the moment the Control Monster was born. It comes along and thinks that if it can control everything from now on, then you’ll be safe. That’s its number one priority: to support you in that particular environment where you weren’t safe, whether physically or emotionally.

I also had to confront the judgmental side of this monster. That part of my mind that hung on to control because it didn’t believe that other people could operate on my level. Thinking if they weren’t like me, then they wouldn’t be good enough or capable enough.

control didn’t make things any safer. It only made them smaller.

The more you chase comfort, the more unhappy you become. Because happiness isn’t about being comfortable; it’s about growing and improving. And by nature, growing is not comfortable.