Picking Daisies on Sundays (Picking Daisies on Sundays, #1)

by Liana Cincotti

For the hopeless, and hopeful, romantics who don’t know they’re noticed in a crowded room.

I loved Levi Coldwell. I was in love with Levi Coldwell. My best friend of four years and counting.

We had a list of adorations in common: our love for films, dedication to academics, loyalty to family, and the grief we went through—we were going through. We both had experiences with losing a father, and I think that’s what bonded us first.

but it felt like I had cried so much over Dad’s passing that I no longer had room in my heart for any other sadness.

My body couldn’t imagine any event or moment being any worse than that, so the tears slowly ran out and I only knew grief.

How to cope and move on without forgetting. Because that’s what everyone wants you to do after you lose someone: move on. But how were you supposed to just move on? How

were you supposed to simply pretend like they never existed and try to be happy when they were no longer here?

While I thrived in our sewing elective, which he claimed to have chosen the class because it looked good on a college application. Two months later, he confessed that it was really to help his mother with fixing his sisters’ sports uniforms.

He understood that fear of forgetting and the struggle to be happy as if it were betrayal.

think that’s the day she fell in love with him like I slowly did.

Something that no one talks about when a loved one passes, is that when the years go by, it feels as if they never truly existed, like it was another life. My memories had been slipping away like chapters in a good book with each passed day. No one tells you that the reality of them actually being gone doesn’t kick in until

you try to call them and realize … you can’t, that you can never call them again. That they aren’t just gone for a moment, but they’re gone for the rest of your moments.

“Umm, just my Kindle, an apple, a few scrunchies, my water, a sandwich, a sewing kit—”

“I told Sarah I’d show her my Kindle after trying to convince her she needed one; Rhea said she’s never seen a scrunchie before; Claire said she had a hole in her skirt; and I get extra hungry,” I finished reading off my mental list from yesterday’s conversations at the game.

​“You do perplex me,”

It’s why all the best romance movies were set in New York during this season, i.e., How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, Maid in Manhattan, Enchanted, et cetera. With its flowers and parks full of greenery; trees lining the cozy neighborhoods that

you see on your walk to the bagel shop around the corner.

​

I expected him to look horrified or confused, but rather I was met with the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. ​He was blushing. His cheeks were pink, and his eyes were turned down, while everyone else’s were glued to him.

Whoa. His hands caught my arms as my back hit his chest, which kept me from tripping over my feet. Some form of apology escaped my lips as I ran from his grip, trying to suffice any dignity I had left. I hadn’t accounted for how close we were, or how perfectly tall he was that if I pushed onto the balls of my feet, my lips would meet his.

​Without having a chance to form another thought, a jacket—his jacket—wrapped around me. It smelled of sandalwood and cinnamon, and was heavy on my shoulders, like a workman’s jacket meant to protect his skin.

I loved the idea of dating: getting dressed up, meeting a person outside a restaurant with a shared nervousness. Then sitting at dinner together for hours talking, knowing there was a mutual attraction when they

looked at your lips or bumped your foot under the table.

That’s why I only dated once every few months—not that men were constantly hitting on me. I wasn’t the girl that men gravitated towards or even wanted.

“Call me next time you decide not to go out, I’ll walk you back.”

“Just call me, okay? I’m only a few blocks away.”

​I always loved the look of the apartment at night. The dark sky outside and yellow lamp light inside brought a coziness to the soft furniture and flowers that only autumn carried.

“Every single day. I see him in every room I walk into, like he’ll be there waiting for me on the other side of the door. Sometimes, I swear I hear his voice in the morning calling me downstairs. And there are instances when I run down and don’t realize it until I’m halfway down the stairs.”

I had grown accustomed to what life was like without Dad, but that didn’t mean I felt okay.

“When I look at it, all I see is you.”

How did he remember that I used to rewatch Audrey Hepburn films when I needed inspiration? This was the same person who forgot his locker combination every day, and it never changed, but he somehow remembered this.

“Well, I’m sorry if you think I’m acting like your brother, but that’s been my job for the past ten years without any choice, so it isn’t exactly easy to not interject when I don’t think you’re being careful. I care about your safety and well-being and need to know that you’re okay at all times. So, if I don’t think you’re safe, I’m not going to be quiet about it for one goddamn second.”

“If you’re not going to drop him as your advisor, then I’m picking you up after your meetings with him.”

And he saw me; drank in every ounce of my essence and presence, and it felt like I could breathe again. It felt like the air he was breathing was mine, and him and I were one—the only ones in the room. He was several footsteps away, but there was an understanding in his stance. That despite our distance, he had been waiting for me the entire time, not wanting to miss me. And now that he had caught me, he wouldn’t let his eyes leave me. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but it seemed as if awe was written in his eyes, with the way his head had this small tilt, and his tan skin held a blush.

“I was talking about you,”

I was telling her about you.”

“I think they’re watching,”

​“Let them watch,”

“I would never say something like that to you for,” he stumbled to find his words with such surprise, “for some performance. I mean it, you are beautiful. You always were.”

wanted to tell you that you looked beautiful because you are. I knew I wouldn’t miss you when you walked in tonight because you’re you. You’re so physically

enthralling, let alone when you speak. And when you speak, all of the light in the room comes from you. You’re absolute sunshine and spring. I could watch you speak—”

“What did I do? Was it something I said? Tell me, and I’ll fix

“Everywhere we go, people are infatuated by you, looking at you and yearning to talk to you. I …” He paused for a long moment. “I am infatuated by you.”

“Every time I see you, I think about …”

I was madly, deeply, undeniably in love with him. I loved him so much that my heart was pounding against my chest, trying to reach his to tell him.

“You intoxicate me, Daisy. The scent of flowers lingers on you everywhere you go, and I always want to follow,”

But no one tells you how much love feels like grief until you have your heart broken and realize you can’t take any of it back.

“You’ll know you’re in love when being around them never feels long enough. Everything you learn about them will be beautiful pockets of information, no matter how flawed. Your hands will be clammy, and you’ll trip over your words when you’re around them. But if they love you back, they’ll only think that it makes you lovelier.”

“I can pick you up,” Levi answered instead. “You said you’re teaching though.” “It’s not a problem for me to get you.”

“You think it’s a turn on?”