Becoming Free Indeed: My Story of Disentangling Faith from Fear

by Jinger Duggar Vuolo

So much of my uncertainty was because I didn’t understand God’s character. Instead of thinking of Him as a kind Creator who wanted me to obey Him for my own good and His glory, I primarily thought of God as stern and harsh. I had this idea that He would be disappointed, even angry, if I didn’t do exactly what He wanted me to do. Even if I didn’t know what He wanted from me in a situation, I thought I could get in trouble for making the wrong choice.

The conscience entreats you to do what you believe is right and restrains you from doing what you believe is wrong. But don’t equate the conscience with the voice of God or the law of God. It is a human faculty that judges your actions and thoughts by the light of the highest standard you perceive. When you violate your conscience, it condemns you, triggering feelings of shame, anguish, regret, consternation, anxiety, disgrace, and even fear. Conversely, when you follow your conscience, it commends you, bringing joy, serenity, self-respect, well-being, and gladness.

So much of my fear and anxiety after I became a Christian was tied to my overactive conscience. I had created false standards of righteousness: standards that were impossible for me, or anyone, to measure up to. But where did those false standards come from? At the time, I thought my convictions came from the Bible. Now I know that wasn’t the case. Now I know that instead of coming from the perfect Word of God, they came from the mind of an imperfect man.

How do I know whether what I believe is consistent with the Word of God or is a false religious system invented by man?

This is an unhealthy view because it assumes that God wants to punish me—and that it’s my responsibility to avoid that punishment. But for the person whose faith is in Jesus, the Bible says the opposite is true. Psalm 103:12 promises, “As far as the east is from the west, so far does [God] remove our transgressions from us.”

I think this is helpful for us because it teaches us that we can’t dodge suffering, that you can’t manage your life, you can’t control your circumstances, you can’t exercise enough or plan enough or save enough money or work your way into a place of security . . . to avoid suffering.

Since we share a common love for Christ, the other issues are not as big a deal. There truly is far more that unites us than divides us.

Romans 14 and 1 Corinthians 8 are two of the main places where the Bible talks about Christian liberty. That’s the idea that Christians have freedom to decide how to live, what to do, and even what to believe as long as those beliefs don’t disagree with the Bible’s essential truths about God, salvation, and Scripture. I didn’t learn much about Christian liberty when I was younger.

We unite around the gospel, we give freedom for differences of opinions on lots of other issues, and we seek—at all times—to love people.

What the Bible says about Christian liberty has freed me from that judgmentalism. The apostle Paul didn’t say in Romans 14 that someone who ate meat offered to idols would one day start worshiping idols. He didn’t see a slippery slope there. He saw only freedom. I’ve learned that if I have a conviction against something because it is spiritually unhelpful for me, that doesn’t mean the same activity is spiritually unhelpful for someone else. That’s the beauty of Christian liberty.