Remember all of it, I tell myself. Her hand in my hair. How she smelt before. How she smells now. Her lips on my skin. Her little trembling body wrapped around mine under the stairs at Varley. Wrapping myself around her body that trembled differently that December 3rd that I hate and love all at once, and whatever happens I know I’m lucky to have had her. To have gotten to love her how I have. I wish I was better at it. Wish I could do it again, that I had more time. I’d change everything and nothing.
my heart hurts so bad
