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“It’s perfect, Nico. She will love it.”
Once onboard, I sort through the weapons with Jonas, my eyebrows rising at the explosives inside.
“You never know.” He shrugs.
“Jonas, this is enough to blow up a city,” I say carefully, knowing he’s always a little unhinged, but since Nova has disa...
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“Good.” H...
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I share a look with Isaac but shrug. Jonas is good with explosives. He wo...
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“It has to be me. I was one of the first to fail, which means their files on me are old. Davis didn’t pay much attention to me along the way or even at the house. He would probably recognise me up close, but I won’t let him. It has to be me. I look the part and can act it. Dimitri needs to be on the outside as our point of contact. Louis, you need to direct us and put us in position. Jonas would end up killing too many people, and he needs to be our backup plan. Isaac is too kind and would try to save everyone. It has to be me.”
Isaac said the belly of the beast, but they haven’t seen a beast, not yet, so I’ll show them one. And they took the beast’s girl.
I remember what I did. I even remember why, and suddenly, the ramifications of my actions take root in my brain. My eyes lock on the plain ceiling above me as my heart rate speeds up, the beeping growing louder as panic winds through my chest.
I ruined my body. I no doubt destroyed any chance of ever having kids.
I never thought I wanted to bring a child into such a fucked-up world and a fucked-up family, not to mention I would be a terrible mother.
No, I was better going without, but as my hand covers my stomach, tears fall silently from my eyes, rolling into my hair as I bite back my pain.
I had the choice, the chance, and as my eyes close, the images of tiny versions of Louis, Nico, Jonas, Dimitri, and Isaac fill my head, running around with...
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Our world is crazy and dangerous, but it doesn’t stop the bone-deep longing from suddenly appearing because I will ne...
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It fucking hurts. Haven’t I given enough? Haven’t I suffered enough? When is it my turn to be happy? How much more can I truly give?
Grief for a child I will never have now aches alongside the grief for the sister I lost, and I hold onto it as I sob silently, my body racked with pain.
This world is a shitty fucking place but for a moment, I had hope for a better life. I got a glimpse of happiness and love, only for it to be taken away, and I can’t keep pretending I will get it back.
They wouldn’t want me now anyway. I’m not just broken this time. I’m ruined beyond repair.
This isn’t skin they have kissed, tasted, and loved. This is raw and brutal. Like me.
“Oh, I’m sorry, time’s up, and I simply do not give a fuck.”
“We’ve missed you so much. We haven’t stopped looking, not even for a second, and after this, we will be sitting down to discuss you sacrificing yourself for us and the appropriate punishment.”
“We’re coming, baby, just hang on, and I will kill every last motherfucker in there for you,” Jonas adds.
“He’s right. Before you, we were a team, then after you, we became a family, and you are the heart of our family, Nova. We cannot function without you. You beat for us, so don’t you even dare,” Louis warns.
She’s struggling, and part of her wants to die there, but I will not ever let that happen.
If she dies, then I die. It’s that simple.
I’m coming, my love, I tell her, even though she can’t hear me.
I never asked her if she wanted kids. I never thought about it. I was always too focused on the mission, on the next invention, the next moment, but I won’t ever admit to her that the idea of a little Nova running around doesn’t appeal to me. What would our child be like after all we have gone through? Maybe it is for the best, but if it hurts her, I will find a way.
Come hell or high water, money would be no option. I will give her what she wants. No matter how impossible it seems.

