How to Fake-Date a Vampire (Charming Cove, #2)
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Read between October 20 - October 24, 2023
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Still, I craned my neck to see if I could spot him because I was just as nosy as everyone else when it came down to it. There was no way he was as hot as the gossip suggested, and I wanted a glimpse of the weak chin to prove it. “Why did he come back to Blackthorn Hall?” I asked. “Shouldn’t he be out jet-setting or something?”
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The duke was one of us, a vampire who also mixed with human society due to the fact that his title had been given by some long-ago human regent. There weren’t many supernaturals among the nobility since humans didn’t know we existed and we tended to avoid them to keep it that way. Unlike the vampires of myth, real vampires died just like the rest of us. His family had held the title for centuries and passed it down generation after generation. Humans knew him as a duke, but we knew him as the vampire duke.
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The former Duke of Blackthorn had pulled funding from Eventide Children’s Home, where I’d spent the first few years after my parent’s death. I’d had pretty poor opinions of the nobility ever since, especially the Blackthorns. I’d never told anyone in town about it, though.
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the TV over the bar. “Hey, New Girl!” A blond bloke with a barrel chest tried to catch my attention, but I ignored him and hurried into the loo. Not only wasn’t I interested in him, but I hated being called “New Girl.” What would it take to belong here, damn it?
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Of course it was the hottest man I’d ever seen. He entered through a different door than I had, one that appeared to come from a quiet hallway. Our eyes met in the mirror above the sink, and my brain frizzed out. Who could blame me, though? First of all, he was super tall. And broad, with shoulders that shouldn’t be possible on someone who wasn’t a professional athlete. Which he probably was.
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He had the kind of body that made something primal light up inside me, like I was a damned alley cat who’d just spotted the hottest tom on the block. But his face…oh, Lord, his face.
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“I didn’t wet myself,” I blurted as I whirled around to face him. Oh, shit. I sounded beyond stupid.
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“No, just that he was the hottest man I’ve ever seen and that I panicked and ran for it before I could get his name.” Not that he’d want to give it to a weirdo like me.
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“That’s not him,” I said. “That’s the guy I saw in the loo.” Holly’s head whipped toward me. “Really?” “Yeah.” The paparazzi went wild, jostling to get close to him. “Well, bad news, friend. That’s the duke.”
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Of course it was. Fantastic. I groaned as I again buried my face in my hands. “He did have a nice accent. I should have realized.” “Don’t beat yourself up.”
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I stared, frozen, as a very pissed-off goat slammed his head into the arse of the Duke of Blackthorn.
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thought I’d never see him again. Instead, I’d just assaulted him with my goat.
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His green gaze flicked up to mine, and I stilled. He seemed to pay far closer attention to me than anyone I’d ever met, and it felt like being under a spotlight. He was far taller than I was, and even though I stood about a meter away, I had to tilt my head up to meet his gaze. “You again.” There was something soft in his voice that I had to be imagining. Something almost…interested. “Yep…Your Grace.”
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I looked up at him, realizing that he was far closer than I’d expected. His scent wrapped around me, sandalwood and pine. I frowned at him. “What is it?” he asked. “You smell good. Like, too good,” I blurted. Then I wanted to die. I’d actually said that…out loud. I shot upright. I needed to get my goat and get the heck out of there.
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The five of us straightened and gave her our best serious witch faces. At least, I did. Lily always seemed so much more comfortable in these scenarios, and I couldn’t help the tiniest twinge of jealousy.
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“Normally, one of the senior witches would plan the party,” Hazel said. “But we think that you apprentices have been with us long enough that if any of you want to attempt it, you may do so.”
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She couldn’t be serious. Plan the entire Beltane Ball? “Obviously, if you succeed at such a monumental task, you will be made an official witch.”
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That day, I wanted to hiss at the sun like a vampire out of human movies. Real vampires had no trouble with the sun, though, and I tried to pretend that I didn’t, either.
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Oh, she really was. Her lips weren’t moving, but I could hear her in my head. And that meant only one thing—she was my familiar.
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“What’s your name?” Penelope. “It suits you.” She preened, raising a little paw to fluff at her ear. I know. Now, what are you doing in these woods? You’re creeping around like a stalker. Penelope gasped. Tell me you’re not one of those horrible paparazzi.
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I hurried across the immaculate lawn, ridiculously worried that I was leaving mud marks on the grass. I felt too dirty and disheveled to be even walking on the duke’s grass—what was I going to do when he opened the door? As I climbed the stairs, I lifted my feet to brush away some leaves that had got caught in the laces of my short-heeled boots, then adjusted my shirt to hide the rip.
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“It’s not poo.” I closed my eyes, horrified. “On my skirt, I mean. Your Grace.” The corner of his mouth tilted up in a devastating smile, and he said, “We really need to stop meeting like this.”
✶⋆.˚ bailey kate ✶⋆.˚
Ew
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This wasn’t what I’d expected at all. He was supposed to be a jerk, like his father before him. He was a jerk, given what I’d read about him in the papers. So this was entirely unexpected.
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Oh, holy Hecate. Did the duke want me to pretend to be his special friend? The look in his eyes was remarkably close to pleading. He did.
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“I’ll leave you to it. Lovely to meet you.” Without another word, I hurried away from the house.
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Alaric I stared after Emma, realizing that I’d lost my damned mind. There was just something about her that scrambled my thoughts. She was beautiful, with hair of spun gold and huge brown eyes.
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“Oh, darling, she’s wonderful.” Ah, shite. And this was where it got complicated. My grandmother had come here expecting to meet the woman to whom I planned to propose. However, that relationship had exploded in a ball of flames for severely dire reasons, but I hadn’t had the heart to tell her. I’d hoped to break it to her in person. And then this had happened.
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“There’s just something about her that is so kind. And clever. She’s very intelligent, I can tell. You know how I’ve got a sense for these things.” “You do.” “You chose a good one.” A wide smile stretched across her face. “You have hardly spoken to her.” Panic began to twist through me. “It doesn’t matter. I sense it. She’s perfect for you, and I haven’t been so happy in decades.”
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It was why I’d been so pleased to tell her about Katrina, which I definitely should not have done. I resisted shutting my eyes and put a smile on my face. “How are you, Granny? Well?” I wanted her to say yes. She did, of course. But I couldn’t banish the image of her stepping from the car.
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How the hell would I tell her it wasn’t a thing? “Stop worrying about me,” she said. “Why don’t you go after her, dear? I insist.”
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“Never.” She patted Milo’s head, then shoved my arm. “And if you keep insisting, I’ll think you’re being rude. Now go get her, or I’ll be disappointed.”
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My grandmother disappeared inside the house as I hurried down the path. My mind raced as I tried to catch up with Emma. What the hell was I going to do when I reached her?
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“Stop,” I called out to Emma’s retreating back. “Please.” She halted abruptly, then turned to look at me. Her brows rose. Fates, she was beautiful in the sunlight, with a scattering of freckles across her nose. Her hair gleamed, and I wanted to see if it felt as soft as it looked. I’d been struck dumb the last two times I’d seen her, and this was no different. It took a conscious effort to get my tongue to work when she asked, “You followed me?” “Yes. I, ah…wanted to apologize for how abrupt I was earlier.” “Yeah, you were pretty intense.”
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I kind of liked it, though that was ridiculous. “Pretend to be my girlfriend.” Her jaw slackened. “No. Definitely not.” “We can be hazy with the details.” “Why?” She sounded exasperated, and I couldn’t blame her. “It’s complicated.” Granny’s illness, the issue with the press. I didn’t want to explain all that. “Inheritance?” she asked. “No.” I glared at her. “I wouldn’t use my grandmother like that. And I’ve already inherited.”
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Damn it, I liked that about her. Not that it mattered—it would be a long time before I trusted anyone again. “I’ll let you use the estate for your party,” I said, shocking myself. But I was full in on this plan, and nothing was stopping me.
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“I promise, I’m doing this to protect her.” I put as much sincerity into my voice as I could, and she studied me. “I believe you, actually. You’re rude, and you’re definitely entitled, but I can tell you care for your grandmother.”
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This really wasn’t going well, but as crazy as the idea was, I was hooked on it. “Just think about it, all right?” She frowned. “No. You’re bonkers.”
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“Just think about it, please. I’ll ensure you have the best Beltane Ball”—whatever that was—“that ever existed. I just need your help with my grandmother.”
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Before she could respond, I turned and left. I didn’t want her to have an opportunity to say no again. Still, I could feel her eyes on me as I walked away.
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Trick his grandmother into thinking we were in a relationship? There was no way I could do that. Not only was I a terrible actor, but I couldn’t think of a single way it could be in her best interest. I did believe him, though, when he said that it wasn’t for a bad reason. At least, he believed it. He’d been a jerk to me, but he clearly loved his grandmother.
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There were a number of benches and tables positioned throughout the garden, and I took the table closest to the door in case a customer were to come in while I talked to Holly. As soon as I sat, a flash of movement drew my eye to the top of the stone wall on the far side of the garden. Penelope. She scampered down and ran over, hopping up on the chair next to me and looking at me expectantly.
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“Hang on! Penelope is fine. She’s my familiar.” Holly’s jaw snapped shut, and she looked at me, eyes wide. “Your familiar?” I grinned. “Yep. Just got one.” She squealed in excitement. “That’s amazing!” It really was. I shot Penelope a smile, and she grinned back. Then Holly frowned. “You’re going to need to put a bow on her or something so that people know she’s not wild.” Oh, I’m wild, baby. Penelope grinned.
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“Sorry. I know I shouldn’t make assumptions. Most vampires are civilized.” “He’s one of them.” She smiled. “If you’re sure of it, then you have to do it.” “Absolutely not.” “Why?” “A lot of reasons.”
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“Good point. They’d make it hard to keep up the charade, too. It would suck to have them hounding you.” Penelope spoke for the first time, crumbs of orange cake quivering on her whiskers. I can help with that. “Thank you, Penelope.” “Did she offer to spray them?” Holly asked. “How did you know?” “It’s what I would do if I were a skunk. It’s a real superpower.”
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That’s what I loved about Willow. Always able to see the bright side. Hazel appeared beside her, and I stiffened slightly.
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Later that afternoon, I found my grandmother in the bee garden. All of the flowers were already in bloom due to the unusually favorable weather in Charming Cove and the fact that our garden had been enchanted to bloom both early and late.
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“My apologies, dear.” She said the words, but I wasn’t sure she meant them. “It’s lovely to see Milo take to someone, though. He’s usually so selective.” I looked down at the dog, who continued to grin up at me. He didn’t look selective.
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The intensity in his voice sent a shiver through me, but I was glad to have the question of biting out of the way. “Good, thank you,” I said. “I was thinking more along the lines of dating rules. Like touching.” “Touching?” Something lit in his eyes, though I couldn’t tell what. “Where can I touch you?” The words sent a shiver of heat through me. Everywhere? No, that was a terrible idea. Also, I didn’t like him. I knew all about him, and he wasn’t my type. I liked decent guys.
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“Waist, back, shoulders.” “And kissing?” “Right, of course. On the cheek is fine.” He nodded. “The cheek it is.” “No flirting.” “Definitely not.” “No emotion.” “I would never.” He gave me a horrified look, and I thought he might be joking but was too tense to ask. I met his gaze, and a frisson passed between us. Finally, I blurted it out. “And obviously no sex.” He stilled, almost imperceptibly, and I was reminded that vampires were predators. Not like the ones in human movies, but they were still apex predators. And I was about to pretend to date one. I was so out of my depth. * * * Alaric ...more
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When I was here, I spent most of my time in the wing that had been used by my mother. It felt more like a home, and although nothing about being a duke was normal, at least there, I could pretend.
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