How to Fake-Date a Vampire (Charming Cove, #2)

by Linsey Hall

Unlike the vampires of myth, real vampires died just like the rest of us.

“I didn’t wet myself,” I blurted as I whirled around to face him. Oh, shit. I sounded beyond stupid. “Ah…” He clearly was at a loss for words,

LMAOO

I stared, frozen, as a very pissed-off goat slammed his head into the arse of the Duke of Blackthorn. I thought I’d never see him again. Instead, I’d just assaulted him with my goat.

he your emotional support goat?” Lily whispered. I snatched my hand back from him and glared at her.

“Oh, yeah. He’d had a few too many Jail Ales and started to talk like a poet. Said the flower garden was the thing of dreams and that the pond had a mermaid who sang like an angel.”

MERMAIDS !!!!!

“Then I heard you and Holly laughing like hyenas around midnight as I was walking home from the pub.”

A skunk. I couldn’t ask the duke for a favor if I smelled like a skunk. Rude. I blinked at the skunk. “Did you speak?” Yes. And you’re staring. With quite the stink face, I might add. “Um, I’m sorry.” I stared down at the skunk. “You’re really talking and I’m not hallucinating?” I’m really talking. Oh, she really was. Her lips weren’t moving, but I could hear her in my head. And that meant only one thing—she was my familiar.

Another pwerful witch

I did the first idiot thing I could think of and blurted, “It’s not poo.”

LOL

The corner of his mouth tilted up in a devastating smile, and he said, “We really need to stop meeting like this.”

.

“Could you give me a moment while I go die of embarrassment, then I’ll resurrect myself so I can return and we can continue this?” Interest lit his eyes. “Can you do that?” “Um, no. Not that kind of witch.” “Pity. I’ve got a very nice grandfather I’d like to have back.”

“Enjoy yourselves.” She grinned broadly, then walked away. I stared after her, uncertain of what I’d just seen. “Did she just waggle her eyebrows?” “Probably.”

“Are you about to break into applause, Granny?” Alaric asked. “Absolutely not.” She gave him a disapproving look. “I only applaud kisses on the lips.” She gave us a hard stare. “Go on, then.” I gaped at her. The last thing I’d expected was for the dowager duchess to egg me on to kiss her grandson.

“I suppose you live in a cottage by a creek, complete with friendly forest creatures?” he asked. “Cozy and delightful, I’m sure. Until you lure children in to be eaten.”

LMAOOO

“I’m going to kiss you now,” I said, unable to stop the words from escaping my lips. If she gave any indication that she didn’t want me to, I’d back off in a heartbeat. She didn’t. Instead, she leaned up on her tiptoes and tilted her face to mine, looking me straight in the eye. “Kiss me.”

She was soft and delicious and divine.

She sighed. “A schoolgirl crush. I thought it could be more, of course. But he left.” “Why? The war?” She glared. “I’m not that old.” “Right, sorry!”

“Renewing old flames, Mother?” she asked. “Yes.” My grandmother shot her a saucy look. “Just because he’s incorporeal doesn’t mean we can’t have fun.” She turned to Emma. “Presuming you can make me another revelation stick?”

Did this vampire just have sex with a ghost

“No, darling. And I think we should start with why her name isn’t Katrina.”

Grandma vivi knew the whole time !

You could wear my bow, but if that’s all you wore, I’m pretty sure the police would pick you up for indecent exposure.