Pretty Boys Are Poisonous: Poems

by Megan Fox

My problem is that I deeply identify my feelings and have multitudinous ways of articulating them, but I am not able to express them because when I do it has made the men who have loved me feel intimidated, inadequate, and insecure. And so I have spent all of my life making myself small so that others can feel confident. I have a savior/martyr complex. I’ve always believed I am meant to be a sacrificial lamb, a ransom for the soul of whichever beautiful, broken, self-absorbed idiot is currently hunting me down and draining me of my life force.

This book is for anyone who has given much more than they received, or for anyone who struggles to believe they deserve to be heard. This book is also for me. Because fuck. I deserve better.

pretty boys are poisonous

when he walks away with your soul in his mouth you will pray for death but instead you will live forever as the monster he turned you into • lessons in hot-boy demonology

my protector my abuser my captor my friend my love the creature that seeks me when he is thirsty for tears • eros

you can beg you can cry you can plead you can reason you can bribe you can seduce you can fight you can surrender but you can never outrun the wolves • rape

all these tears i’ve cried for you… oceans of grief

if romeo and juliet had lived long enough maybe they too would have gotten to the point where romeo was so numb to her that he would rather read twitter in bed than fuck…

how many times have you watched me die and still you don’t realize that you are the reaper • 4:46 a.m.

and my heart never rests because it does not trust the hand that holds it • why i have insomnia

you’re imprisoned by all of the demons you’ve bartered with renting space in your body to them in exchange for a life that doesn’t even make you happy why do you sacrifice me to feed the things that haunt you

mornings after you would hurt me i would wake up and make your coffee put on a sweatshirt so you wouldn’t have to look at the bruises you left i wouldn’t want you feeling guilty because like you say— this isn’t your fault your parents abandoned you no one ever taught you not to… it’s just because you love me so much you don’t know how to control all the passion you feel if anything i’m lucky imagine all the girls who don’t get hurt for laughing at another boy’s jokes how ineffectual and undesirable they must feel at this point you will remind me that my silence is in equal proportion to my love and so under the watchful gaze of your management i dutifully set out on my hero’s journey to prove my loyalty by taking your secrets to my grave really i should be flattered and i am • don’t worry darling

if i had a nickel for every time you showed up for me i would have exactly zero nickels but i know i’ve earned a mansion in heaven for all the times i forgave you for calling me a stupid cunt • seventy times seven

i’ve learned to look at the floor when men speak to me i’ve stopped trying to share charming anecdotes over dinner because you always finish them for me and i certainly don’t dare laugh at anyone’s jokes not even your closest friends’ because we’ve all seen what happens when a smile creeps across my lips that you didn’t put there i put on my shortest dress and highest heels so that you can show me off while simultaneously keeping a possessive hand around the back of my neck my will has atrophied in my chest my feelings stick in my throat never forming words i forgot that i had a voice long before you decided to become my ventriloquist and somehow in spite of your genuine longing to be loved you prefer it this way • the art of becoming an accessory

passion: from latin; to suffer • veritas

maybe the apple was actually a cock and maybe eve wanted it because adam was too busy, self-absorbed, and distracted to fuck her? maybe the original sin was a man taking a woman for granted • i’ve always liked serpents

they say she dwells in the cities of the sea they say she was a banshee a demon hag that she seduces innocent men in their sleep they say she eats babies but really she was just a woman who refused to get on all fours so an insecure man could feel like a god • the truth about lilith

not all goddesses fly some of us struggle on the ground as the mortal men we gave our hearts to keep their feet on our necks but one day we will remember our own names and turn them all to ashes • hell hath no fury

lies pour from your mouth like rain falls in the amazon • a slippery relationship with the truth

the further away from you i get the more i realize i was never small it was just a matter of forced perspective • your optical illusion

i will always be in love with the man that you’ll never become • unrealized potential

i hate men i hate men i hate men i hate men i hate men i hate men i hate men • 7, the number of completion

it doesn’t matter how beautiful, loyal, nurturing, sexy, witty, charming, smart, or altruistic you are. he will still take you for granted • why i wish i was gay