Counting the Cost

by Jill Duggar

“That’s right. He was dancing and he was immodestly dressed, and his wife despised him for it. Let’s all remember that. When we are having fun, let’s make sure that we don’t move in a way that draws people’s attention to places it shouldn’t.”

By preventing us from discussing anything controversial or sensitive with each other, the instruction not to “stir up contention among the brethren” became a tool for silence, for control, for guilt.

Answering all Megyn’s questions, with Josh watching from a couch just out of shot,

“You can’t appraise the value of a worker to a business until you know what the whole business is worth. So I guess before we can tell you what we’re worth, we’d need to know what kind of deal you’ve got with TLC.”

Jill has contributed a lot of hours to filming over the past decade, and she has nothing to show for it financially.

TLC had decided to take out ransom insurance on us, which only made us feel even more vulnerable.

Chad shot back, “Jill has a contractual obligation. She has to return.” “Excuse me? Jill has never signed any contract.”

“Let me tell you something now! You’re gonna get sued! You’re gonna need whatever money you have, because you’re going to be sued!”

including a clause that stated I had to reveal to the network if I discovered I was pregnant, as well as the final page that had mine and my siblings’ signatures inked in.

The day before Derick and I were married. The day Pops had told me that he had some simple papers for us all to sign in the dining room, saying that it only had to do with how we were going to get paid—not that we’d ever received any wages for any of our work.

IBLP’s view was that a lot of people with small families were basically lazy. Feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or like you couldn’t cope with having more kids was no excuse. In fact, the only acceptable approach to the matter was to leave the decision up to God and trust that he would provide the grace required to cope.

We were both so shocked and upset. Our future had been affected yet again by a lack of transparency, by Pops operating on a need-to-know basis.

Pops explained that if we wanted to tithe on our income, then he would have to kick some families to whom he was giving free rent out of their homes. What we wanted most was transparency and to figure out why I hadn’t been paid what had been reported to the government.

I’m evolving and changing, just like that girl out there, but you can’t see it. You treat me like I’m a prodigal who’s turned her back on you. You treat me worse than you treat my pedophile brother.”

We could see what was going on. Early in 2017, Pops had started paying small, non-negotiable amounts per episode to those who were filming, both to spouses and siblings. It seemed to me as if they had been brainwashed into thinking that they weren’t

owed anything, and that the $80,000 payment had been super generous.

“Pops is telling everyone that if we don’t stand against you both on this, then we’re standing against him. He said none of us can be neutral here, and that this affects all of us. He says we might all be sued as a result of what you’re doing.”

Pops later determined somehow that each child would receive 3 percent on their tax return each year. However, even this was a phantom payment, seemingly just reported on paper for tax purposes with no apparent intention to actually pay out this amount.

Our wedding alone had netted well over $100,000 for Pops, and Israel’s birth had been the focus of two special episodes, earning Pops another six-figure sum. Yet when we’d asked him to cover our $10,000 deductible and out-of-pocket expenses from the hospital stay, he’d pushed back.

“Sometimes you have to be okay with other people not being okay with you. And you have to be okay with you not being okay too.”