Counting the Cost

by Jill Duggar

He was the head of our household, and that was the way it was supposed to be.

The way she says “supposed to be…” sounds sad

The role of perfect daughter didn’t feel like a role at all.

I never felt the need to push against their rules, and I never found either of my parents restrictive or constraining. If anything, I was grateful for the boundaries they laid down for our family.

I told myself that whenever we were in situations like that where we stood out, it was an opportunity to be a positive example to others just by living life and showing others how true, conservative Christians should live—set apart and unpolluted by the world.

As Sweet Jilly Muffin, approval hunter, it was a moment that I would treasure for the rest of my life.

Sweet Jilly Muffin had grown up, but I was still terrified of conflict and would do anything I could to avoid it.

This right here. I can relate so much.

It turns out that living with fearful thoughts is a lot like living with hornets and garter snakes. Once they find a way in, you can block as many holes as you like, but the struggle to keep them out will require constant vigilance. And when they do get in—which they will—the memory of all those previous attacks will make whatever you’re facing so much worse.

Powerful.