Counting the Cost

by Jill Duggar

I was just waking up to the possibility that I might not be able to have any more kids. It was not an easy thing for me to accept, despite the fact that I had been doing a lot of questioning about IBLPs teaching over the years. In 2014 Mr. Gothard had stepped down after being accused of sexual harassment and molestation by thirty-four women. It was the year Derick and I married, and I’d started questioning the IBLP view of scripture. The closer I’d looked at the Bible, the more it seemed to contradict what I had been taught as a child, especially the idea that adult children were still under their parent’s authority, and the way they had placed Mr. Gothard on a pedestal. But one thing I hadn’t thrown out was the belief that children are a blessing. Before I got married, I knew that I wanted to have as many children as I possibly could. Becoming a mama had only strengthened that belief within me. But after Samuel’s birth, there was a very real chance that he would be my last child.