Inside, River had Rubi pressed against the wall, kissing him like no fucker was watching, and a long-ago drunken conversation flooded back to me, one I’d cringed away from, awkward and fascinated all rolled into one. “It doesn’t matter that I’m the big spoon, Nashie. Him fucking me is the best feeling in the world.” I’d never thought about it too hard until now. And as the images in my brain manifested, it wasn’t Rubi and River I pictured; it was me and Locke. I’d dreamed of him fucking me. So. Many. Times. Talked it out with Orla. Fantasised about it with her while we were fucking. But
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