The Scattered Bones

by Nicole Scarano

Yet I could watch him for the rest of my days and never be afraid. He’d become my favorite part of my existence, breathing life into parts of my soul that had died. In such a brief acquaintance, this breathtaking man had carved a jagged hole in my heart and buried himself inside it. It was crude and bloody, still raw where it tore, but I held the pain close. I never wanted to be free of him. I couldn’t explain his importance to me. He was a thief. A stranger. A sinner, yet he called to me in ways I didn’t know one soul could beckon another.

“Every night I spend with you, I love you more,” he continued. “I’m filled with broken and jagged edges, but your softness and warmth fit perfectly between those sharp pieces. You make me whole. You’re what my life was missing, and the longer I stay at your side, the more I love you. Varas may be the god I’ve pledged to, but you’re who I want to swear my future to. You’re the altar I pray at, the deity I worship, and I would sacrifice my life for you, but you don’t belong to me. You never have, and you never will.

“I love you,” I said with conviction. Raw and strong and unbreakable. “Loving you isn’t a sin, nor will it make me unworthy. Loving you is the only choice I’ve ever made for myself, so when I say this, understand it’s with my whole heart. I choose you, and I cannot go into my future without knowing what loving you tastes like. You’ve filled my heart so completely, there’s no room for anything else.”

“I’ll never love another woman,” he said. “I’ll wait for you. I’ll swear a vow of celibacy, and when your spirit returns, I’ll be here because I don’t want anyone else.”

“I don’t love you,” he growled as he angled his hips to hit the spot that unleashed the stars. “This isn’t love. Love is too simple a word for what I feel. The world could end. Ages could pass. The gods could die, and I would still adore you. You’ve been braided so deeply into my heart that I no longer exist without you.”

“I’ll want you even in death, Sellah. There’s no afterlife, but that doesn’t matter. I’ll love you until I’m dead in the dirt, then I’ll love you until my body is nothing but bones. And when my bones fade to dust coating the earth, I’ll still want you.”