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No one had ever looked at me like that, as if their whole heart was happy to see me. Not the vessel. Me.
“I’ve never seen anyone as beautiful as you. I mean this in the most respectful way, but you are divinely lovely. I’m almost ashamed to share the same air as you.”
“I don’t want to take anything from you.” Conviction fortified his voice. “I want to give everything to you. I’m not here to break your vows. A lonely girl simply helped a lonely boy, and I love the light in your eyes when we’re together. How can that be a sin? How can wanting to be your friend be wrong?”
“I’ll help you live an entire lifetime in the coming seasons,” he whispered. “I’ll make them the best days of your life.”
He was no longer the forbidden stranger hiding in my room. He was my life and breath and hope. My best friend, and it made my heart ache.
“I have scars from those who tried, but as the cycles passed, less and less could wound me, but your tears? They hurt worst of all. Out of everyone in my life, you have the power to hurt me the most.” “Why?” His words alarmed me. “Because I finally found a soul that sings to mine, a friend unlike anyone I’ve ever met, and I made you cry. I can’t take you away from here. I cannot touch you, and in a cycle, I’ll lose you.”
“I’ll even return when you’re old and grey and Hreinasta abandons you for another. It may take a while, but I’ll always come for you.”
Out of everyone in my life, you have the power to hurt me the most.
“You must do this alone. You cannot accept aid, yet the moment the villagers heard you meant to slay the evil, they followed your lead. When they saw Lovec had returned to his city, they rallied in your footsteps. Only they didn’t protect you. They didn’t help you. Your quest was to find him, and you did that alone. They fought to end their exile, and you helped them break their curse, leading them to victory.
Desire filled his eyes, a heat unlike anything I’d witnessed before. Yearning battled restraint, and his face was a painting of war. His heart challenged his mind in his expression, his dedication to my purity beating his own hunger bloody. It was the first time I ever noticed his control slip. The first time I saw craving in his eyes, and the storeroom shrank. I felt claustrophobic, suffocated, crushed. Standing feet from Kaid, knowing that beneath his surface ran a burning longing, frayed my edges. There was no window, no escape. Just me and the man who had become my best friend. The man I
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Why was it a sin to witness the smile that engulfed my being? If they caught us together, they would torture him for staining a sacred vessel, but he hadn’t stained me. He made me whole and happy and beautiful. He made me Sellah. Kaid was the only person who let my true self bleed to the surface.
My friend had disappeared, and an intimidating thief had assumed his place. For the first time, I was afraid of Kaid. Not because he would harm me, but because my heart sensed the shift. I was terrified of how I’d grown to love him, and that gave him the power to break me.
I can’t sit here and wait for you to leave me. Every time I look at you, I see the end of the greatest thing in my life. You’re my best friend, my confidant, my heart. I love you, Sellah.
“Then I must go, because I can’t watch this. I won’t survive losing you. As it is, I already feel as if a dull and rusted knife has pierced my heart, the pieces jagged and oozing.” Sorrow wove through his voice. “I love you, but I won’t come back. If I do, it’ll destroy me. I don’t want to live in a world without you, but I have to. I might as well get used to it.”
I ran with loud steps and louder breaths, and as he gripped the ledge, I threw myself at him. My fingers captured his hand, my fist closing around him, and the world ceased to exist. The moon disappeared. The stars vanished. Szent fell away, and the wind stilled. There was nothing. There was no one. All that remained was the warmth of his skin against mine, the roughness of his palms scraping against my fingertips, his pulse jerking through the pressure point at his wrist.
I’d touched him. I had touched Kaid, and it was beautiful.
“Beautiful.” The Stranger cuts me off. “You should take pride in that. Not because it makes you superior or because it makes you selfish, but because when you find all of him, you’ll be a welcomed sight. Think of how he’ll blame me if you look like a skeleton when he returns.”
Kaid was the first person to shed tears on my behalf, and I gave him the space to suffer through the weight of my confession. I watched every tear land on my pillow, his sadness more precious than the smiles of the faithful worshipers who passed me daily, and when I could no longer bear his pain, I pressed my lips to his damp cheeks.
Then love me and forget my fate for a few hours. I want a lifetime of your kisses before the dawn sends you away.”
“Sellah, my love, look at me.” I obeyed, barely able to see through the tears. “I will love you until I am nothing but dust, and even then, I’ll still love you.”
Valka created a fortress, an unseizable temple, but he made a mistake. He prepared for an army, for a battle won with brute force. He should have been preparing for a thief’s wife.
As his lips meet mine stroke for stroke, passion for passion, I decide everything I endured was worth it. Every scar, every hunger pang, every fear. I would suffer through all the pain life inflicted on me again, because I’ve loved my thief from the moment I found him in my room, and I’ll love him until I am dust.
